Can't I Just Be A Thin Hermione???

I am cranky, I'm tired, and I have a headache. I want coffee, but I have to be at work by 8 am tomorrow, so drinking coffee at 5 pm is probably not a good idea. Work was busy, but that's life in a pediatric practice...whereas most other people see summer as down time, for us it's probably the busiest time of the year. I was the only doctor working in either office today, and that will become part of the story in a minute. I also made the mistake of asking what my schedule looks like for tomorrow. If everyone shows up (and even if they don't ALL show up) I am on track to see more patients tomorrow than I've EVER seen in one day in my 14 years of practice. Can't think about that...I already have a headache.

Anyway, I woke up in a really good mood, then something happened, which I'll get to in a minute, and then I was in a bad mood for the rest of the day. I put on my happy face for my patients, and was pretty ok, until I met Mr. R. We got a call about a 16 year old with a swollen eye who was being sent over by his pediatrician. The boy and his dad arrived, and from the conversation I overheard at the front desk, Mr. R. didn't have an insurance card, and the kid had not been seen since 1998. Ok, not my problem, his wife faxed it over. I got in the room, and the history my technician had taken was very vague as far as what medicines the kid was taking. Meanwhile, the entire right side of his face was swollen, as was his eye (not swollen shut, the white of the eye was swollen.) I started asking Mr. R. questions to try and figure out what medicines this kid was taking. He just kept talking in circles, giving me no useful information. I guess I didn't hide very well the fact that I have no patience for parents who act as if they just met their child outside the office door on the way in to the appointment. Mr. R. told me that he had driven very far to get to our office (because he works right down the road from our other office...he told me that at least twice), got stuck in traffic and, he knows I'm busy, but he's busy too, and I should call the pediatrician and find out what the kid was on (which I had said I was going to do, and did, because he was useless.) I walk out of the room, said a few not so nice things under my breath, and had my technician call the pediatrician. When I got back in the room, he was a different person, very nice and apologetic, probably because he knew he'd been a jerk. Please people, do your kids a favor, when you take them to the doctor, have some clue as to why they're there, what medicines they're on, what their birthdays are, etc. It's a disservice to them if you don't (if you're kid is on 4 different medicines which clearly are NOT working, and you don't know what any of them are, how am I supposed to help him?), and it makes you look like a fool. And it doesn't help to say, "Oh, my wife handles that stuff." Not being sexist, but...

Anyway, I spoke to the pediatrician, treated the kid for a severe allergic reaction, probably to the drop the pediatrician had put him on, they ended up loving me (as all my patients do), and I have the good fortune of seeing them again tomorrow. I got through the rest of the day unscathed, and now I am finally home. So how did I go from being in a great mood this morning to a pissy mood the rest of the day, when my encounter with Mr. R. didn't occur until about 1:30?? It was the damn scale...another of the Devil's creations.

I have felt great all week. I cut out snacking after dinner, went to the gym 4 times, 3 of them for an hour, I think I look thinner, and my clothes fit better. I was very happy with the way I looked in the outfit I put on this morning, and was excited to see a big weight-loss at WW (I had to weigh-in because I was above my goal last week and had to pay. I will have to weigh-in and pay until I'm within 2 lbs of my goal.) I got on the scale this morning and decided, screw it, I want to know...bad decision. I was down 0.8...POINT EIGHT!! Not even a whole freakin' pound! There went my good mood, and it was gone for the rest of the day. I'm about 4 lbs over my goal (which, if you remember, is 7 lbs more than my original goal), and had to pay again, but that's not the point. If I had lost 2 lbs and had to pay, I'd be fine, which is why I should have just had my leader say, "You're down, but you still have to pay." This is exactly why you are not supposed to weigh yourself during the W30. I had friends who are doing, or have done, a W30 tell me that it doesn't matter as long as I feel good, and I know that's true. I felt great this morning, but that was when I thought I was down 2 or 3 lbs. That 0.8 ruined my day, and I'm pissed that it was able to. I have an idea as to why this week wasn't as good as I thought it would be, so I'm hopeful that next week will be better, but now I'm nervous about getting my hopes up. It sucks that I have to weigh-in again because, at this point, I don't want to go anywhere near a scale until this WholeWhatever is done. I'm also doing the math and thinking that, with what I've lost so far, there is no way that I will lose enough in the next 10 days to get to the 14.7 mark at Day 30 that I hit in April, and I'm even exercising this time. That makes me even more mad at myself for gaining all the weight back.

One good thing to report is my newfound love for roasted carrots. I got this recipe from a friend who is also doing a W30. I don't really like carrots, but last night I ate an entire bag of baby carrots this way! Drizzle them with melted coconut oil and season with salt. Roast for 40 minutes at 400. They are SO sweet and delicious. I'm going to go and put some in the oven right now. Better than eating a bag of Peanut M&M's to drown my misery, right??