I've made some pretty big changes since I last posted. The biggest one is that, starting last Tuesday, I no longer count calories or points. I don't weigh my food, but do still measure certain things with measuring cups and spoons. I felt a desperate need to get away from the obsession with numbers that I've had for most of my life. I noticed that when I knew I would be over my calorie allotment, I would just say "screw it", and go WAY over (like every weekend.) I started by not tracking my exercise, because I had started to see it as a means to eat more, and nothing else. It also seemed to give me license to overeat. Once I stopped doing that, I decided to stop counting calories period, but the idea of not tracking at all scared me. I found a free app called Two Grand, which I love! All I do is post pictures of everything I eat, track my water, and track whether or not I achieve any goals I've set (the app provides lots of suggestions.) It sounds strange, but simply stopping to take a picture of what I'm eating, and knowing that those who follow me on the app will see it, makes me much more mindful of what I'm putting in my mouth. I haven't binged since I started! Not to say I haven't enjoyed myself and eaten treats, sometimes more than I would've liked, but it's kept me from going off the deep end. I also love tracking my water and my goals. The app makes it so easy and fun! I started simple, with a goal of 48 oz of water a day, and not eating after 9 pm. I've achieved both goals everyday since I started!
I've also dramatically changed my thinking about exercise. I've started taking a 1.5-3 mile walk each day (usually about 2 miles) with Marty. I'm not sure which of us looks forward to it more! I get a 24 oz coffee from Wawa, listen to a podcast, and we enjoy the (finally) beautiful weather. I had gotten back into strength training, and then started listening to the Lift Like a Girl podcast, hosted by Nia Shanks. Last night I decided to order and download her 3x3x3 strength training program, which I started today. 3 exercises, 3 reps each, 3 workouts a week, for 10 weeks. Today went well, and I can't wait to see where I am at the end.
I don't feel like I've lost any weight in the past week, nor do my clothes feel different. Of course I still want to fit back into all of the clothes in my closet that don't fit, and hope that that will happen sooner rather than later. However, I'm starting to accept the fact that, if I continue to eat the way I'm eating now (in a mostly healthy, not restrictive, still enjoyable way), and get in my strength training and walks, and those clothes STILL don't fit, then I may have to buy a size 8 jeans. I'm pretty sure I'll live. For the first time in a long time, I just eat, I just walk, I just lift. I'm not counting anything, I'm not worrying about it, I'm not training, I'm not planning. I'm just living, and I'm loving it.
Tuesday, April 28, 2015
Monday, April 13, 2015
Cutting Ties
I cancelled my WW Monthly Pass this morning, and I'm not going back. I had a great Wed/Thurs/Fri, an ok Sat, and a could've been better Sunday in terms of eating, and have been rocking my exercise plan...running, weights and walking. I got on the scale this morning and was basically the same as Wednesday. I'm sure a lot of it is the salty meals I had out this weekend, but immediately my mind kicked into "Ok, I've got to starve until Wednesday" mode. I got in the shower and decided I was done. I lost my weight weighing in on Friday mornings. I could then relax a bit over the weekend, and still undo any damage by just eating normally for the week. Because of my work schedule, I can no longer attend Friday morning meetings. I tried Thursdays (too far), and Wednesdays (too soon after the weekend). I realized that I am paying $45 a month to just go stand on the scale and have someone tell me what I already know, because I just weighed myself at home. I then leave and go work out...I don't stay for meetings anymore, because I get nothing out of them. I am going to do this on my own (with the help of the HSMC), or I'm not going to do it. I came very close to saying that I'm not even going to track anymore, because I'm so sick of thinking about what I'm going to eat, what I did eat, what I didn't eat, what I should eat, etc. After 37 years of this, I'm tired! I'm not quite ready to try intuitive eating...yet. I don't track on the weekends, and that's as much as I can let go now. I just want to eat what makes me feel good, workout to get strong, and enjoy this amazing time in my life. I'm ready to make something other than my weight the focus of my life. It's time.
Wednesday, April 8, 2015
3 Habits and a Goal
I went to WW today, and the scale did not cooperate. Nothing terrible, and I'm blaming it on Easter. I'm not too upset though, because overall I'm on the right track, and I know it. I finally realized that I had set My Fitness Pal at an activity level that was higher than my actual level. Therefore, it was telling me that I could eat far more calories than I actually could. That could partially explain why, since I've been using it, I haven't lost any significant weight. I finally figured it out, and reset it, so I think I will have greater success.
I decided last week that I am not going to run the half marathon in June. The one I ran last June was incredible! The one I ran in October was ok, but the training was torture. I had not run farther than 3 miles since that time, and didn't miss distance running at all. When I trained last summer, I swore to myself that I'd never do another race longer than a 5k. For a number of reasons, I signed up for the race this June, the same one I'd done last June. As training time approached, I began to dread it. Last weekend I ran 4 miles, and this past weekend I was to run 5, and build from there. I started to have anxiety about the long runs. I HATE distance running! I also realized that the long runs would eat into the limited time that Jeff and I have together, and that afterwards, I'd be exhausted. I asked myself why I was doing it, and I had no real answer. Yes, I'll lose out on the $75 registration fee, but I'll gain so much more. I am very much at peace with my decision.
A few days ago I wrote down 3 habits and a goal that I want to focus on. I was very proud of the fact that none of them involve calories, points, or the scale. The first is to drink 2 large (33.8 oz) or 4 small (about 16.8 or so) bottles of water a day. I am very bad about getting enough water, so this is something I really need to work on. The next is to do three 3-mile runs a week...pretty easy for me to stick to. The final habit is to not eat chocolate or ice cream when I'm alone. I've identified them as my 2 main binge foods. If I stick to eating them with someone else, either at my house or out, I figure that I won't binge on them. I've been tested this week with my solid chocolate basset hound that I got for Easter sitting on my counter. However, the fact that eating him feels somewhat like eating my children has made him easier to resist! The goal I set for myself is to fit into my jeans comfortably by Memorial Day. I have an idea of how many pounds I'd need to lose for that to happen, but I'm not positive. Of course I'd love for it to happen before Memorial Day, but that seemed like a good date to pick.
Overall, life is SO, so good! I was out walking with Marty this morning and felt like, even though it was cold, the winter doldrums have lifted, and I'm back to enjoying being active. I am so excited about the upcoming Summer, and if I can look and feel my best, it will only be better!
I decided last week that I am not going to run the half marathon in June. The one I ran last June was incredible! The one I ran in October was ok, but the training was torture. I had not run farther than 3 miles since that time, and didn't miss distance running at all. When I trained last summer, I swore to myself that I'd never do another race longer than a 5k. For a number of reasons, I signed up for the race this June, the same one I'd done last June. As training time approached, I began to dread it. Last weekend I ran 4 miles, and this past weekend I was to run 5, and build from there. I started to have anxiety about the long runs. I HATE distance running! I also realized that the long runs would eat into the limited time that Jeff and I have together, and that afterwards, I'd be exhausted. I asked myself why I was doing it, and I had no real answer. Yes, I'll lose out on the $75 registration fee, but I'll gain so much more. I am very much at peace with my decision.
A few days ago I wrote down 3 habits and a goal that I want to focus on. I was very proud of the fact that none of them involve calories, points, or the scale. The first is to drink 2 large (33.8 oz) or 4 small (about 16.8 or so) bottles of water a day. I am very bad about getting enough water, so this is something I really need to work on. The next is to do three 3-mile runs a week...pretty easy for me to stick to. The final habit is to not eat chocolate or ice cream when I'm alone. I've identified them as my 2 main binge foods. If I stick to eating them with someone else, either at my house or out, I figure that I won't binge on them. I've been tested this week with my solid chocolate basset hound that I got for Easter sitting on my counter. However, the fact that eating him feels somewhat like eating my children has made him easier to resist! The goal I set for myself is to fit into my jeans comfortably by Memorial Day. I have an idea of how many pounds I'd need to lose for that to happen, but I'm not positive. Of course I'd love for it to happen before Memorial Day, but that seemed like a good date to pick.
Overall, life is SO, so good! I was out walking with Marty this morning and felt like, even though it was cold, the winter doldrums have lifted, and I'm back to enjoying being active. I am so excited about the upcoming Summer, and if I can look and feel my best, it will only be better!
Wednesday, April 1, 2015
The Jeans
Last week I did 2 shakes a day, plus a dinner, every day except for Sunday and yesterday. I started officially training for my 1/2 marathon in June, and ran 4 miles on Sunday (the longest run I've done in about 6 months). I also started weight training again, also for the first time in about 5-6 months. On Saturday night I tried on a pair of jeans that I was last able to wear in January. For the first time in MONTHS, I got them on, zipped, and buttoned! They are not comfortable enough to wear yet, but I got them on, and felt great! I did have a few meals where I ate more than was ideal, and I made some not so great choices as far as snacking, but overall, it was a good week.
And then...I got on the scale at WW this morning, and am up 1.2 pounds. At first I was VERY discouraged. Why did I drink all those stupid shakes??? Then I went to the gym to do my weight training, and realized that, at just my 3rd session, I feel stronger. I decided in the car on the way home that I was going to shift my focus, and shift the focus of this blog.
I am going to continue to weigh in weekly at WW, because it is very important to me to get back to goal and maintain my lifetime status. However, my focus is going to be on wearing those jeans out this spring, and be able to breathe! My focus is going to be on continuing to train for my half marathon, and increase my mileage by one mile with each weekend long run. My focus is going to be on increasing my reps and weight during my weight training sessions. I'm no longer going to report my weight gains or losses here, at least not for now. There are so many things about me that are more important than how much I weigh.
I'm listening to an old HSMC meeting from the beginning of the year. The meeting was about goal setting, and during the meeting we wrote down goals in a notebook. Yes, I wrote down weight loss goals, and no, I haven't achieved them yet. However, on a separate page, I wrote down that I wanted to give online dating a try (it terrified me, and I'd avoided it like the plague for years!) I wrote down what I hoped to do, and what I hoped to find in a partner, and what type of relationship I wanted, and deserved. I had forgotten that I wrote this all down, but when I read through it, it made me smile. I sucked it up, gave it a try, met Jeff 2 days later, and have never been happier.
Yep, there is SO much more to life than a number on a scale :)
And then...I got on the scale at WW this morning, and am up 1.2 pounds. At first I was VERY discouraged. Why did I drink all those stupid shakes??? Then I went to the gym to do my weight training, and realized that, at just my 3rd session, I feel stronger. I decided in the car on the way home that I was going to shift my focus, and shift the focus of this blog.
I am going to continue to weigh in weekly at WW, because it is very important to me to get back to goal and maintain my lifetime status. However, my focus is going to be on wearing those jeans out this spring, and be able to breathe! My focus is going to be on continuing to train for my half marathon, and increase my mileage by one mile with each weekend long run. My focus is going to be on increasing my reps and weight during my weight training sessions. I'm no longer going to report my weight gains or losses here, at least not for now. There are so many things about me that are more important than how much I weigh.
I'm listening to an old HSMC meeting from the beginning of the year. The meeting was about goal setting, and during the meeting we wrote down goals in a notebook. Yes, I wrote down weight loss goals, and no, I haven't achieved them yet. However, on a separate page, I wrote down that I wanted to give online dating a try (it terrified me, and I'd avoided it like the plague for years!) I wrote down what I hoped to do, and what I hoped to find in a partner, and what type of relationship I wanted, and deserved. I had forgotten that I wrote this all down, but when I read through it, it made me smile. I sucked it up, gave it a try, met Jeff 2 days later, and have never been happier.
Yep, there is SO much more to life than a number on a scale :)
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