Thursday, February 26, 2015
Points
After I blogged yesterday and said that I was sticking with tracking calories in MFP, I started to doubt that decision. I don't really know how to deal with splurges when I'm counting calories. On WW, you have 49 extra points, as well as activity points, to use towards special occasions. When tracking calories, if I splurge, it's kind of a free for all, because I don't have any "rules" to follow. I do very well with rules. I've also found that, after years and years of counting points, I can guestimate things pretty well. However, I have absolutely no idea how many calories things have. I just read a comment on yesterday's post from a reader who is in a similar situation as I am, and her reasons for going back to points, although calories make more sense to her too, are exactly the things I've been thinking about. That includes the attractiveness of "free" fruits and veggies as well. I've decided to switch back to points tomorrow. I'll give myself the 49 weekly, although I maybe have dipped into them a bit yesterday and today. I already started with calories today, so I want to wait and start fresh tomorrow. My fitbit now tracks activity points on etools, so that will be helpful. If I'm going to "go home" to WW, I might as well go all the way home!
Wednesday, February 25, 2015
Coming Home
I had a realization yesterday. I've been searching for a way to get back on track, to lose the weight I've gained, and to find a rhythm again. In the process of trying to figure it out, my weight has kept on going up. It hit me that, really, I've known all along what I need to do...I need to do what worked for me in the beginning, and for the past 5+ years. Weight Watchers. I don't know why that wasn't obvious all along. I think that I was bored, and needed to try something new. Maybe I just needed a break from doing what I was "supposed to do." I decided yesterday morning to stop looking for a quick fix, or something that would get the weight off as fast as possible. When I do that, I put it back on just as fast. I'm no longer just trying to lose 5 lbs, but more like 15. It's going to take awhile, and I know that. And I'm ok with that. I don't have a choice. I've been futzing around for months now, eating crap, skipping my work outs, etc. Now it's going to take me a few months to get the weight off...seems only fair.
I'm taking it one meal at a time. I'm going to continue to track calories in My Fitness Pal, rather than points, because it makes more sense to me. Rather than just trying to eat at "a deficit" each day, which was too variable and ill-defined for me, I've chosen a 1600 calorie a day limit. Yesterday I was below that, today I'll be at 1638. I've also realized that, as much as possible, I need to pre-track my food, until I get more familiar with the calories in things. Otherwise, I track at the end of the day, and pray I haven't gone over, which is rarely the case! I'm back to weighing in at WW every week, and I know now that I will need to do this for THE REST OF MY LIFE. Just like I need to brush my teeth every day. Today I was up 2.2 lbs...not exactly what I was hoping for after going back last week, but it is what it is, and I move on.
In the HSM community, we talk about giving yourself credit for the things you do right, instead of just focusing on what you've done wrong. I realized today that, in spite of how far I've strayed with my eating, I have continued to get in regular exercise. Perhaps not at the level I've done in the past, but it is a part of my life that I can't imagine giving up completely. I also tend to have healthy breakfasts and lunches...it's dinner and snacks where I fall off the wagon. But again, I am not as far gone as I once was, and that is something to acknowledge.
I've started listening to the audiobook of The Beck Diet Solution. I'm only a few chapters in, but it's a cognitive behavioral therapy approach to weight loss. The book does not promote any diet, but rather tries to help you change your thinking and behaviors towards food. I've heard very good things about it, and am excited to try and apply some of its suggestions to my own life.
My HSM interview should be coming out in the next few weeks and, when it does, I will let you know. There will be the interview, and then an additional excerpt in a "Heather Weighs In" segment. I can't wait to hear how it turned out, and hope that my current struggles won't keep those who hear it from being able to learn from my experiences.
I'm taking it one meal at a time. I'm going to continue to track calories in My Fitness Pal, rather than points, because it makes more sense to me. Rather than just trying to eat at "a deficit" each day, which was too variable and ill-defined for me, I've chosen a 1600 calorie a day limit. Yesterday I was below that, today I'll be at 1638. I've also realized that, as much as possible, I need to pre-track my food, until I get more familiar with the calories in things. Otherwise, I track at the end of the day, and pray I haven't gone over, which is rarely the case! I'm back to weighing in at WW every week, and I know now that I will need to do this for THE REST OF MY LIFE. Just like I need to brush my teeth every day. Today I was up 2.2 lbs...not exactly what I was hoping for after going back last week, but it is what it is, and I move on.
In the HSM community, we talk about giving yourself credit for the things you do right, instead of just focusing on what you've done wrong. I realized today that, in spite of how far I've strayed with my eating, I have continued to get in regular exercise. Perhaps not at the level I've done in the past, but it is a part of my life that I can't imagine giving up completely. I also tend to have healthy breakfasts and lunches...it's dinner and snacks where I fall off the wagon. But again, I am not as far gone as I once was, and that is something to acknowledge.
I've started listening to the audiobook of The Beck Diet Solution. I'm only a few chapters in, but it's a cognitive behavioral therapy approach to weight loss. The book does not promote any diet, but rather tries to help you change your thinking and behaviors towards food. I've heard very good things about it, and am excited to try and apply some of its suggestions to my own life.
My HSM interview should be coming out in the next few weeks and, when it does, I will let you know. There will be the interview, and then an additional excerpt in a "Heather Weighs In" segment. I can't wait to hear how it turned out, and hope that my current struggles won't keep those who hear it from being able to learn from my experiences.
Wednesday, February 18, 2015
WW Weigh-In
I faced the music today. I went to WW, and weighed-in at 158.8. My scale is different than the WW scale. At home, without clothes on, I weighed 159. I like the WW scale better! From now on, I will no longer weigh myself at home. I used to weigh myself obsessively, but got away from it, and was only weighing myself once a week at WW. When I started only going once a month, I went back to weighing myself at home. I never got as bad with it as I had been, but I was getting on the scale more than once a week, and that's not something I want to fall back into. I bought a monthly pass, rather than paying every week. I know that it's going to take me more than a week to lose 6.8 lbs, which means I will have to pay for at least the next few weeks. I save money by doing the monthly pass, and it gives me an incentive to keep going each week, regardless of how I've done.
This morning I did 30 minutes on my recumbent bike before the meeting. I didn't stay for the meeting, and rarely will. Last night was a Half Size Me (HSM) Community meeting, and tonight is an HSM Maintenance meeting. I get much more out of these meetings than I do out of WW meetings. I am also tracking calories on My Fitness Pal rather than reverting back to points. The thing that I clearly do need from WW though, is the accountability of going and weighing in. I am learning to use different aspects of different plans, apps, groups, etc., to build my own plan that works for me. This is my journey, and I am constantly figuring out what I need.
This morning I did 30 minutes on my recumbent bike before the meeting. I didn't stay for the meeting, and rarely will. Last night was a Half Size Me (HSM) Community meeting, and tonight is an HSM Maintenance meeting. I get much more out of these meetings than I do out of WW meetings. I am also tracking calories on My Fitness Pal rather than reverting back to points. The thing that I clearly do need from WW though, is the accountability of going and weighing in. I am learning to use different aspects of different plans, apps, groups, etc., to build my own plan that works for me. This is my journey, and I am constantly figuring out what I need.
Tuesday, February 17, 2015
Fat Tuesday
I am Catholic, which means that Lent starts tomorrow for me, which means that today is "Fat Tuesday." I will not be celebrating it this year, as I feel like I've had a "Fat Past Few Months", and don't need one more day of overeating! I hadn't given Lent much thought...it snuck up on me. This morning I decided that, rather than give something up, I wanted to add a healthy habit or two to my routine. I chose starting a Gratitude Journal, and committing to my running schedule. I started today by doing a 2 mile run at 6 mph (basically my fastest sustainable pace), and then going to Staples and buying a very pretty day planner to use as my journal. It was pretty expensive, but I wanted something nice that I would enjoy using.
I dread running every day that I'm supposed to do it. DREAD it! I don't start my formal training for my June 1/2 marathon until 3/24, but I want to do two 2-mile runs a week until then, just to get some consistency. I've maybe managed 1 run a week, but not even that recently. It snowed this morning, and I was going to use that as an excuse to do my bike instead. However, I didn't have to be at work until 2, so I went to the gym at 11:30, and the roads were fine. When I was done I felt SO good, and so happy that I had done it. I then went and bought myself an iced coffee, and my new journal.
I've heard a lot about Gratitude Journals in the HSM Community. The idea is that we tend to focus on all the things we're not doing, or don't have, or that we're not. However, there is so much positive and good, so many things that we are doing, and do have, and those things should be the focus. I've decided that each day during Lent (starting today, and perhaps continuing even after Easter), I going to write down 5 things I'm grateful for. It could be general things, or things specific to that day. I'm excited to see what I come up with!
Valentine's Day weekend was not the best time to try to get my eating back on track, although I don't think I did terribly. It was a fun, relaxing, memorable weekend, and I enjoyed every minute of it. I don't regret anything, and have not given any thought to what I ate. I woke up this morning ready to go. WW weigh-in tomorrow. I know I will have to pay, and am going to buy a monthly pass, and do so until I'm back at goal. It's time to get serious, and I'm up for the challenge!
I dread running every day that I'm supposed to do it. DREAD it! I don't start my formal training for my June 1/2 marathon until 3/24, but I want to do two 2-mile runs a week until then, just to get some consistency. I've maybe managed 1 run a week, but not even that recently. It snowed this morning, and I was going to use that as an excuse to do my bike instead. However, I didn't have to be at work until 2, so I went to the gym at 11:30, and the roads were fine. When I was done I felt SO good, and so happy that I had done it. I then went and bought myself an iced coffee, and my new journal.
I've heard a lot about Gratitude Journals in the HSM Community. The idea is that we tend to focus on all the things we're not doing, or don't have, or that we're not. However, there is so much positive and good, so many things that we are doing, and do have, and those things should be the focus. I've decided that each day during Lent (starting today, and perhaps continuing even after Easter), I going to write down 5 things I'm grateful for. It could be general things, or things specific to that day. I'm excited to see what I come up with!
Valentine's Day weekend was not the best time to try to get my eating back on track, although I don't think I did terribly. It was a fun, relaxing, memorable weekend, and I enjoyed every minute of it. I don't regret anything, and have not given any thought to what I ate. I woke up this morning ready to go. WW weigh-in tomorrow. I know I will have to pay, and am going to buy a monthly pass, and do so until I'm back at goal. It's time to get serious, and I'm up for the challenge!
Thursday, February 12, 2015
Full Disclosure
1. I'm in a new relationship with a wonderful man.
2. This morning I weighed 159.3 lbs.
Item #1 makes me very happy. Item #2, not so much. This is a weight-loss/weight-maintenance blog, and that's what it will remain. Because of that, I have not talked too much about my personal life. Yes, my relationships, whether they be with family, friends, co-workers, or a boyfriend, have a profound effect on my mood, which can have a significant impact on whether or not I stay on plan for a day, a week, a month. However, I don't discuss specifics of arguments I have, situations I'm in, etc., because those things involve another person, and it's not only my story to tell.
I have said that I'm in a very good place in my life, and that I am very happy. I had my HSM interview on Monday (which was so much fun!), and Heather asked about how being in a relationship now has effected my thinking about my weight. Since I talked about it with her, I figured that I should address it here as well, and I got the ok from Jeff, so here goes!
I am now with a man who doesn't want me to change at all, unless it will make me happy. At first I took that as a license to eat whatever I want because...I'm happy! Ice cream makes me happier! Let's eat ice cream! However, ice cream makes me temporarily happy. What makes me NOT happy is having to wear leggings every day, because my other work pants don't fit. What doesn't make me happy is seeing the scale creep up towards 160, a number I haven't seen in years, and don't ever want to see again. What doesn't make me happy is committing to having a "good" day, but not really believing that it will happen. What doesn't make me happy is never telling myself no.
I woke up this morning with a fire lit in me. I didn't go to the gym and run as I'd planned, but I walked Marty for close to an hour, and feel really good about that. I made the decision to go back to WW on Wednesday and weigh-in. Right now I'm 9 lbs above my goal, so I will have to pay for the next few weeks, and I am fine with that. My experiment of only weighing in once a month has not worked, so I am committing to weighing in weekly again. It worked for 5 years. I needed a break, but now I'm ready to go back to an important tool for my long-term success. I am not switching back to tracking points, but will continue to track calories on MFP. However I need to be more committed to eating at a deficit. I'm tracking religiously, but not really caring what the final number for the day is. That has to change. Perhaps Valentine's Day weekend is not the BEST time to start this, but I will do the best I can!
I am going to figure out when I need to start training for my half marathon and write out my runs on my calendar. I believe I need to start in mid-March, which is right around the corner. I also want to drink more water, which shouldn't be hard, because I currently drink none. I'm not setting an amount right now, just making a point to drink SOME each day!
I worked very hard over the past year on no longer compartmentalizing my life. For a very long time, I focused on school, then career, then weight-loss, and never put much effort into having a significant relationship. I finally decided that it was time, and I am very lucky to have found someone so quickly. What I am realizing is that I am now focusing solely on the relationship (and work and friends), and not taking care of myself. That is not acceptable either, and it will change, starting today.
2. This morning I weighed 159.3 lbs.
Item #1 makes me very happy. Item #2, not so much. This is a weight-loss/weight-maintenance blog, and that's what it will remain. Because of that, I have not talked too much about my personal life. Yes, my relationships, whether they be with family, friends, co-workers, or a boyfriend, have a profound effect on my mood, which can have a significant impact on whether or not I stay on plan for a day, a week, a month. However, I don't discuss specifics of arguments I have, situations I'm in, etc., because those things involve another person, and it's not only my story to tell.
I have said that I'm in a very good place in my life, and that I am very happy. I had my HSM interview on Monday (which was so much fun!), and Heather asked about how being in a relationship now has effected my thinking about my weight. Since I talked about it with her, I figured that I should address it here as well, and I got the ok from Jeff, so here goes!
I am now with a man who doesn't want me to change at all, unless it will make me happy. At first I took that as a license to eat whatever I want because...I'm happy! Ice cream makes me happier! Let's eat ice cream! However, ice cream makes me temporarily happy. What makes me NOT happy is having to wear leggings every day, because my other work pants don't fit. What doesn't make me happy is seeing the scale creep up towards 160, a number I haven't seen in years, and don't ever want to see again. What doesn't make me happy is committing to having a "good" day, but not really believing that it will happen. What doesn't make me happy is never telling myself no.
I woke up this morning with a fire lit in me. I didn't go to the gym and run as I'd planned, but I walked Marty for close to an hour, and feel really good about that. I made the decision to go back to WW on Wednesday and weigh-in. Right now I'm 9 lbs above my goal, so I will have to pay for the next few weeks, and I am fine with that. My experiment of only weighing in once a month has not worked, so I am committing to weighing in weekly again. It worked for 5 years. I needed a break, but now I'm ready to go back to an important tool for my long-term success. I am not switching back to tracking points, but will continue to track calories on MFP. However I need to be more committed to eating at a deficit. I'm tracking religiously, but not really caring what the final number for the day is. That has to change. Perhaps Valentine's Day weekend is not the BEST time to start this, but I will do the best I can!
I am going to figure out when I need to start training for my half marathon and write out my runs on my calendar. I believe I need to start in mid-March, which is right around the corner. I also want to drink more water, which shouldn't be hard, because I currently drink none. I'm not setting an amount right now, just making a point to drink SOME each day!
I worked very hard over the past year on no longer compartmentalizing my life. For a very long time, I focused on school, then career, then weight-loss, and never put much effort into having a significant relationship. I finally decided that it was time, and I am very lucky to have found someone so quickly. What I am realizing is that I am now focusing solely on the relationship (and work and friends), and not taking care of myself. That is not acceptable either, and it will change, starting today.
Wednesday, February 4, 2015
Don't need to fix, but still need to work.
It's amazing to me that, at almost 42 years old, I am still learning so many things about myself. I have been very open about the fact that, as soon as I stopped the Virgin Diet, not only did I fall off the wagon, but I got run over by it! I've been trying to figure out why I'm so unmotivated to do anything I need to do, and how to get my focus back.
My life is so full right now, in the best possible ways. I am very happy, content, excited, and calm. I am more comfortable with who I am, both on the inside, and on the outside, than I have ever been...and that is the problem. I realize that I have always used diet and exercise as a way to try to "fix" myself. Once I lost weight, I would love me, and so would everyone else. When I did lose weight, and my life wasn't perfect, I'd gain it back, and start all over. As long as I had weight to lose, there was a reason why my life wasn't perfect. I could diet, and "know" that once I worked hard enough, ate little enough, worked out hard enough, and got small enough, then everything else would fall into place.
Now a funny thing has happened. I have 10-15 lbs I'd like to lose, yet my life, while not perfect by any means, is pretty damn good. So why bother losing the extra few pounds? This is where my thinking needs to change. I need to lose those pounds, because it will get me to the place where I feel best, where I think I look best, where all my clothes fit, and where I can start training for my June race more easily. I need to lose those pounds because, in doing so, I will be feeding my body healthy, nourishing foods, instead of crap. I need to lose those pounds so that when the summer comes, I can be active, and rock a bathing suit at the beach! It has nothing to do wih fixing something that is broken, or striving for perfection. It is about being the best me that I can be, so that I can enjoy the incredible life I've been blessed with.
I've worked so hard, on both the internal and external. It's time to bring the two together, and be who I want to be, look how I want to look, and feel how I want to feel, for me, and only me. It starts today with 30 min on my bike, 10 min of kettlebells, and eating at a calorie deficit and tracking it in MFP. Let's do this!
My life is so full right now, in the best possible ways. I am very happy, content, excited, and calm. I am more comfortable with who I am, both on the inside, and on the outside, than I have ever been...and that is the problem. I realize that I have always used diet and exercise as a way to try to "fix" myself. Once I lost weight, I would love me, and so would everyone else. When I did lose weight, and my life wasn't perfect, I'd gain it back, and start all over. As long as I had weight to lose, there was a reason why my life wasn't perfect. I could diet, and "know" that once I worked hard enough, ate little enough, worked out hard enough, and got small enough, then everything else would fall into place.
Now a funny thing has happened. I have 10-15 lbs I'd like to lose, yet my life, while not perfect by any means, is pretty damn good. So why bother losing the extra few pounds? This is where my thinking needs to change. I need to lose those pounds, because it will get me to the place where I feel best, where I think I look best, where all my clothes fit, and where I can start training for my June race more easily. I need to lose those pounds because, in doing so, I will be feeding my body healthy, nourishing foods, instead of crap. I need to lose those pounds so that when the summer comes, I can be active, and rock a bathing suit at the beach! It has nothing to do wih fixing something that is broken, or striving for perfection. It is about being the best me that I can be, so that I can enjoy the incredible life I've been blessed with.
I've worked so hard, on both the internal and external. It's time to bring the two together, and be who I want to be, look how I want to look, and feel how I want to feel, for me, and only me. It starts today with 30 min on my bike, 10 min of kettlebells, and eating at a calorie deficit and tracking it in MFP. Let's do this!
Monday, February 2, 2015
No Routine AT ALL!
If you want to know how to lose weight and/or keep it off, then don't do anything that I'm doing these days! I've gained back all but a pound or 2 that I lost on the Virgin Diet. My eating has been terrible (chocolate for lunch anyone?), and my exercise, sporadic at best. Tomorrow should be a run day, and it could be if I woke up early, because I have a hair appointment at 9. I know I should commit to doing so, but I'm just not there right now. I go through periods where I am so focused, and other periods where I'm not at all. During those times, I just have to mix in good days with bad ones, so that I don't go off the deep end, and hold on tight until the focus comes back. I haven't figured out what exactly happens to get it back, but it does eventually return. Tomorrow night is an HSM meeting, which will help. Next Monday is my interview, and I really want to be in a strong frame of mind for that. I need to stop making excuses, and do what I know needs to be done...because I do know.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)