Coming Home

I had a realization yesterday. I've been searching for a way to get back on track, to lose the weight I've gained, and to find a rhythm again. In the process of trying to figure it out, my weight has kept on going up. It hit me that, really, I've known all along what I need to do...I need to do what worked for me in the beginning, and for the past 5+ years. Weight Watchers. I don't know why that wasn't obvious all along. I think that I was bored, and needed to try something new. Maybe I just needed a break from doing what I was "supposed to do." I decided yesterday morning to stop looking for a quick fix, or something that would get the weight off as fast as possible. When I do that, I put it back on just as fast. I'm no longer just trying to lose 5 lbs, but more like 15. It's going to take awhile, and I know that. And I'm ok with that. I don't have a choice. I've been futzing around for months now, eating crap, skipping my work outs, etc. Now it's going to take me a few months to get the weight off...seems only fair.

I'm taking it one meal at a time. I'm going to continue to track calories in My Fitness Pal, rather than points, because it makes more sense to me. Rather than just trying to eat at "a deficit" each day, which was too variable and ill-defined for me, I've chosen a 1600 calorie a day limit. Yesterday I was below that, today I'll be at 1638. I've also realized that, as much as possible, I need to pre-track my food, until I get more familiar with the calories in things. Otherwise, I track at the end of the day, and pray I haven't gone over, which is rarely the case! I'm back to weighing in at WW every week, and I know now that I will need to do this for THE REST OF MY LIFE. Just like I need to brush my teeth every day. Today I was up 2.2 lbs...not exactly what I was hoping for after going back last week, but it is what it is, and I move on.

In the HSM community, we talk about giving yourself credit for the things you do right, instead of just focusing on what you've done wrong. I realized today that, in spite of how far I've strayed with my eating, I have continued to get in regular exercise. Perhaps not at the level I've done in the past, but it is a part of my life that I can't imagine giving up completely. I also tend to have healthy breakfasts and lunches...it's dinner and snacks where I fall off the wagon. But again, I am not as far gone as I once was, and that is something to acknowledge.

I've started listening to the audiobook of The Beck Diet Solution. I'm only a few chapters in, but it's a cognitive behavioral therapy approach to weight loss. The book does not promote any diet, but rather tries to help you change your thinking and behaviors towards food. I've heard very good things about it, and am excited to try and apply some of its suggestions to my own life.

My HSM interview should be coming out in the next few weeks and, when it does, I will let you know. There will be the interview, and then an additional excerpt in a "Heather Weighs In" segment. I can't wait to hear how it turned out, and hope that my current struggles won't keep those who hear it from being able to learn from my experiences.