Full Disclosure

1. I'm in a new relationship with a wonderful man.
2. This morning I weighed 159.3 lbs.

Item #1 makes me very happy. Item #2, not so much. This is a weight-loss/weight-maintenance blog, and that's what it will remain. Because of that, I have not talked too much about my personal life. Yes, my relationships, whether they be with family, friends, co-workers, or a boyfriend, have a profound effect on my mood, which can have a significant impact on whether or not I stay on plan for a day, a week, a month. However, I don't discuss specifics of arguments I have, situations I'm in, etc., because those things involve another person, and it's not only my story to tell.

I have said that I'm in a very good place in my life, and that I am very happy. I had my HSM interview on Monday (which was so much fun!), and Heather asked about how being in a relationship now has effected my thinking about my weight. Since I talked about it with her, I figured that I should address it here as well, and I got the ok from Jeff, so here goes!

I am now with a man who doesn't want me to change at all, unless it will make me happy. At first I took that as a license to eat whatever I want because...I'm happy! Ice cream makes me happier! Let's eat ice cream! However, ice cream makes me temporarily happy. What makes me NOT happy is having to wear leggings every day, because my other work pants don't fit. What doesn't make me happy is seeing the scale creep up towards 160, a number I haven't seen in years, and don't ever want to see again. What doesn't make me happy is committing to having a "good" day, but not really believing that it will happen. What doesn't make me happy is never telling myself no.

I woke up this morning with a fire lit in me. I didn't go to the gym and run as I'd planned, but I walked Marty for close to an hour, and feel really good about that. I made the decision to go back to WW on Wednesday and weigh-in. Right now I'm 9 lbs above my goal, so I will have to pay for the next few weeks, and I am fine with that. My experiment of only weighing in once a month has not worked, so I am committing to weighing in weekly again. It worked for 5 years. I needed a break, but now I'm ready to go back to an important tool for my long-term success. I am not switching back to tracking points, but will continue to track calories on MFP. However I need to be more committed to eating at a deficit. I'm tracking religiously, but not really caring what the final number for the day is. That has to change. Perhaps Valentine's Day weekend is not the BEST time to start this, but I will do the best I can!

I am going to figure out when I need to start training for my half marathon and write out my runs on my calendar. I believe I need to start in mid-March, which is right around the corner. I also want to drink more water, which shouldn't be hard, because I currently drink none. I'm not setting an amount right now, just making a point to drink SOME each day!

I worked very hard over the past year on no longer compartmentalizing my life. For a very long time, I focused on school, then career, then weight-loss, and never put much effort into having a significant relationship. I finally decided that it was time, and I am very lucky to have found someone so quickly. What I am realizing is that I am now focusing solely on the relationship (and work and friends), and not taking care of myself. That is not acceptable either, and it will change, starting today.