It's been 2 weeks since I recommitted to this journey and, as of last Friday, I've lost 3.5 lbs...more than half way to my first mini-goal of 5 lbs! I am really taking this one day at a time, figuring out what I'm going to eat, and how I'm going to move each day, to get me closer to where I want to be. When I started losing weight 6 years ago, for what I hoped would be the last time, I was so fed up. I don't feel that way now, because I just don't see myself as a failure this time. Maybe because while I was gaining this last 25 lbs, I was so happy, I just kind of feel like there were other things that I wanted to focus on then other than whether my pants were getting tight. I'm at a point now where I am ready to incorporate healthy eating and exercise back into my life, so I will...I am.
One big shift has been in how I look at sharing meals with someone else. I always knew that I had it easy, because I shopped and cooked (or didn't cook) only for myself. I could eat the most bizarre combinations of food, eat the same thing 5 nights in a row, not keep any snacks in the house, etc. Now Jeff and I shop together, we buy things for breakfast and lunch that we both like to keep the cost of groceries down, and we eat dinner together most nights. At first I felt like this took away my ability to control what I eat, but it's actually the exact opposite. We shop together every weekend, which makes grocery shopping (my least favorite activity) more tolerable. I look at what we have in the house, and plan out dinners for the week, and we buy what we don't have. This allows me to know in advance what I'm having for dinner each night, rather than stopping for pizza after work when I'm hungry, tired, and cranky! The best part is that, since Jeff usually gets home before I do, he does the cooking (my second least favorite activity!)
I've been doing a lot of walking because that's what I feel like doing right now. I tried getting back into yoga, but my favorite teacher left at the beginning of the year to have twins, and I just haven't found another that I like as much. The main reason that I stopped was because of my carpal tunnel syndrome and subsequent surgery. I've tried to get back into it, but my scars make it very difficult for me to be on my hands for long periods of time. I lift weights sporadically, but I've never enjoyed weight training. While the weather is still nice, I'm going to focus on getting out and walking as often as possible. I know once the winter comes I'll need to mix it up a bit.
I'm taking it slow, and doing things that I feel fit into my new life, and that I can sustain long term without feeling deprived. It's only been 2 weeks, but it feels good.
Tuesday, September 29, 2015
Thursday, September 17, 2015
Starting Over...Sort Of
This is a difficult post to write, and I thought about just waiting until I was "done" before I wrote again, but that wouldn't be honest. Since Jeff and I started dating (8 months ago today), I've gained about 25 lbs, and am now back up to what I was when I started WW in March of 2009. I am in a slightly smaller clothing size I think, and I attribute that to the fact that I have continued to exercise, more or less, even while my eating has been out of control.
This year has been amazingly wonderful, but has also turned my world upside down. I started a new relationship, dated sort of long distance, and now Jeff is in the process of moving in...he's here, but is moving his things in slowly, and will have his apartment until his lease is up at the end of January. He has also changed careers, which means we're adapting to a new schedule. I have been single for a long time, and have lived alone for over 8 years. I have never grocery shopped, or shared food or meals, with someone else. I always knew that losing weight was easier for me in that respect...I bought and ate what I wanted, no thought to what anyone else wanted or needed.
About a month or 2 ago, I canceled my Half Size Me Community membership. I think I just needed a break from talk about food and weight loss. I had bilateral carpal tunnel surgery in June, and in August I was diagnosed with a herniated disc in my back, and had chronic pain for 6-8 weeks. I did little to no exercise over the summer, and ice cream because a dietary staple.
Jeff and I are slowly but surely getting into a routine, although his school schedule has been crazy, with Back-to-School nights, and holidays, there hasn't been much of a rhythm. We're figuring out where to put all of his stuff, and have renovated one bathroom, and are working on turning the laundry room and closet into a mud room (although that process has been stalled by a leak we found, which required Jeff to remove a large part of the ceiling...all because I decided to repaint!) Anyway, things are coming together slowly, and I'm proud of how calm I've been able to stay, in spite of all the changes...I don't do well with change!
There are a bunch of things coming up: my cousin's baby shower, a trip Charleston, SC at Christmas to visit Jeff's best friend, the AFJROTC military ball in January, a trip to Vegas and the Grand Canyon at Easter, Jack and Mady's Communion in May, and hopefully a trip to Germany in July to visit some of Jeff's friends, and some of mine. Marriage is also in the cards at some point. I could certainly do all of these things at the weight I am now, have a wonderful time, and be happy. Jeff loves me the way I am, that I know for sure. I used to think that if I lost weight, I'd find a boyfriend. Well, I lost weight, gained some back, found a boyfriend, and gained back the rest. He's still here, and we're still happy. However, I want to get back down to a weight where I feel more comfortable, and can wear at least some of the clothes that no longer fit. My goal now is not to lose 40 lbs again...that number is not sustainable at this point in my life. My goal is to lose the 25 that I've gained over the past 8 or so months. I've rejoined the HSMC, started tracking calories on My Fitness Pal, am going for walks, starting back to strength training (mainly arms and abs), and Jeff and I have started taking a yoga class on Sunday mornings. I'm looking at my journey in 5 lb blocks. My focus now is to lose 5 lbs. Easy peasy!
Jeff and I have our first formal event coming up in a few weeks...his friend is getting married. I'm looking forward to dancing together...we both love to dance, but have never had the chance to do so together. I know I have to go and buy a new dress, because the ones I have don't fit. I'm not thrilled, but know that I will find something that I feel beautiful in. I no longer see myself as a fat girl. I'm a thin girl who's gained some weight, and needs to get it off. I will. Slowly but surely, I'll get there. I would not change the life I have right now for all the weight loss in the world, but who says I can't have it all???
This year has been amazingly wonderful, but has also turned my world upside down. I started a new relationship, dated sort of long distance, and now Jeff is in the process of moving in...he's here, but is moving his things in slowly, and will have his apartment until his lease is up at the end of January. He has also changed careers, which means we're adapting to a new schedule. I have been single for a long time, and have lived alone for over 8 years. I have never grocery shopped, or shared food or meals, with someone else. I always knew that losing weight was easier for me in that respect...I bought and ate what I wanted, no thought to what anyone else wanted or needed.
About a month or 2 ago, I canceled my Half Size Me Community membership. I think I just needed a break from talk about food and weight loss. I had bilateral carpal tunnel surgery in June, and in August I was diagnosed with a herniated disc in my back, and had chronic pain for 6-8 weeks. I did little to no exercise over the summer, and ice cream because a dietary staple.
Jeff and I are slowly but surely getting into a routine, although his school schedule has been crazy, with Back-to-School nights, and holidays, there hasn't been much of a rhythm. We're figuring out where to put all of his stuff, and have renovated one bathroom, and are working on turning the laundry room and closet into a mud room (although that process has been stalled by a leak we found, which required Jeff to remove a large part of the ceiling...all because I decided to repaint!) Anyway, things are coming together slowly, and I'm proud of how calm I've been able to stay, in spite of all the changes...I don't do well with change!
There are a bunch of things coming up: my cousin's baby shower, a trip Charleston, SC at Christmas to visit Jeff's best friend, the AFJROTC military ball in January, a trip to Vegas and the Grand Canyon at Easter, Jack and Mady's Communion in May, and hopefully a trip to Germany in July to visit some of Jeff's friends, and some of mine. Marriage is also in the cards at some point. I could certainly do all of these things at the weight I am now, have a wonderful time, and be happy. Jeff loves me the way I am, that I know for sure. I used to think that if I lost weight, I'd find a boyfriend. Well, I lost weight, gained some back, found a boyfriend, and gained back the rest. He's still here, and we're still happy. However, I want to get back down to a weight where I feel more comfortable, and can wear at least some of the clothes that no longer fit. My goal now is not to lose 40 lbs again...that number is not sustainable at this point in my life. My goal is to lose the 25 that I've gained over the past 8 or so months. I've rejoined the HSMC, started tracking calories on My Fitness Pal, am going for walks, starting back to strength training (mainly arms and abs), and Jeff and I have started taking a yoga class on Sunday mornings. I'm looking at my journey in 5 lb blocks. My focus now is to lose 5 lbs. Easy peasy!
Jeff and I have our first formal event coming up in a few weeks...his friend is getting married. I'm looking forward to dancing together...we both love to dance, but have never had the chance to do so together. I know I have to go and buy a new dress, because the ones I have don't fit. I'm not thrilled, but know that I will find something that I feel beautiful in. I no longer see myself as a fat girl. I'm a thin girl who's gained some weight, and needs to get it off. I will. Slowly but surely, I'll get there. I would not change the life I have right now for all the weight loss in the world, but who says I can't have it all???
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