It's been 2 weeks since I recommitted to this journey and, as of last Friday, I've lost 3.5 lbs...more than half way to my first mini-goal of 5 lbs! I am really taking this one day at a time, figuring out what I'm going to eat, and how I'm going to move each day, to get me closer to where I want to be. When I started losing weight 6 years ago, for what I hoped would be the last time, I was so fed up. I don't feel that way now, because I just don't see myself as a failure this time. Maybe because while I was gaining this last 25 lbs, I was so happy, I just kind of feel like there were other things that I wanted to focus on then other than whether my pants were getting tight. I'm at a point now where I am ready to incorporate healthy eating and exercise back into my life, so I will...I am.
One big shift has been in how I look at sharing meals with someone else. I always knew that I had it easy, because I shopped and cooked (or didn't cook) only for myself. I could eat the most bizarre combinations of food, eat the same thing 5 nights in a row, not keep any snacks in the house, etc. Now Jeff and I shop together, we buy things for breakfast and lunch that we both like to keep the cost of groceries down, and we eat dinner together most nights. At first I felt like this took away my ability to control what I eat, but it's actually the exact opposite. We shop together every weekend, which makes grocery shopping (my least favorite activity) more tolerable. I look at what we have in the house, and plan out dinners for the week, and we buy what we don't have. This allows me to know in advance what I'm having for dinner each night, rather than stopping for pizza after work when I'm hungry, tired, and cranky! The best part is that, since Jeff usually gets home before I do, he does the cooking (my second least favorite activity!)
I've been doing a lot of walking because that's what I feel like doing right now. I tried getting back into yoga, but my favorite teacher left at the beginning of the year to have twins, and I just haven't found another that I like as much. The main reason that I stopped was because of my carpal tunnel syndrome and subsequent surgery. I've tried to get back into it, but my scars make it very difficult for me to be on my hands for long periods of time. I lift weights sporadically, but I've never enjoyed weight training. While the weather is still nice, I'm going to focus on getting out and walking as often as possible. I know once the winter comes I'll need to mix it up a bit.
I'm taking it slow, and doing things that I feel fit into my new life, and that I can sustain long term without feeling deprived. It's only been 2 weeks, but it feels good.
Tuesday, September 29, 2015
Thursday, September 17, 2015
Starting Over...Sort Of
This is a difficult post to write, and I thought about just waiting until I was "done" before I wrote again, but that wouldn't be honest. Since Jeff and I started dating (8 months ago today), I've gained about 25 lbs, and am now back up to what I was when I started WW in March of 2009. I am in a slightly smaller clothing size I think, and I attribute that to the fact that I have continued to exercise, more or less, even while my eating has been out of control.
This year has been amazingly wonderful, but has also turned my world upside down. I started a new relationship, dated sort of long distance, and now Jeff is in the process of moving in...he's here, but is moving his things in slowly, and will have his apartment until his lease is up at the end of January. He has also changed careers, which means we're adapting to a new schedule. I have been single for a long time, and have lived alone for over 8 years. I have never grocery shopped, or shared food or meals, with someone else. I always knew that losing weight was easier for me in that respect...I bought and ate what I wanted, no thought to what anyone else wanted or needed.
About a month or 2 ago, I canceled my Half Size Me Community membership. I think I just needed a break from talk about food and weight loss. I had bilateral carpal tunnel surgery in June, and in August I was diagnosed with a herniated disc in my back, and had chronic pain for 6-8 weeks. I did little to no exercise over the summer, and ice cream because a dietary staple.
Jeff and I are slowly but surely getting into a routine, although his school schedule has been crazy, with Back-to-School nights, and holidays, there hasn't been much of a rhythm. We're figuring out where to put all of his stuff, and have renovated one bathroom, and are working on turning the laundry room and closet into a mud room (although that process has been stalled by a leak we found, which required Jeff to remove a large part of the ceiling...all because I decided to repaint!) Anyway, things are coming together slowly, and I'm proud of how calm I've been able to stay, in spite of all the changes...I don't do well with change!
There are a bunch of things coming up: my cousin's baby shower, a trip Charleston, SC at Christmas to visit Jeff's best friend, the AFJROTC military ball in January, a trip to Vegas and the Grand Canyon at Easter, Jack and Mady's Communion in May, and hopefully a trip to Germany in July to visit some of Jeff's friends, and some of mine. Marriage is also in the cards at some point. I could certainly do all of these things at the weight I am now, have a wonderful time, and be happy. Jeff loves me the way I am, that I know for sure. I used to think that if I lost weight, I'd find a boyfriend. Well, I lost weight, gained some back, found a boyfriend, and gained back the rest. He's still here, and we're still happy. However, I want to get back down to a weight where I feel more comfortable, and can wear at least some of the clothes that no longer fit. My goal now is not to lose 40 lbs again...that number is not sustainable at this point in my life. My goal is to lose the 25 that I've gained over the past 8 or so months. I've rejoined the HSMC, started tracking calories on My Fitness Pal, am going for walks, starting back to strength training (mainly arms and abs), and Jeff and I have started taking a yoga class on Sunday mornings. I'm looking at my journey in 5 lb blocks. My focus now is to lose 5 lbs. Easy peasy!
Jeff and I have our first formal event coming up in a few weeks...his friend is getting married. I'm looking forward to dancing together...we both love to dance, but have never had the chance to do so together. I know I have to go and buy a new dress, because the ones I have don't fit. I'm not thrilled, but know that I will find something that I feel beautiful in. I no longer see myself as a fat girl. I'm a thin girl who's gained some weight, and needs to get it off. I will. Slowly but surely, I'll get there. I would not change the life I have right now for all the weight loss in the world, but who says I can't have it all???
This year has been amazingly wonderful, but has also turned my world upside down. I started a new relationship, dated sort of long distance, and now Jeff is in the process of moving in...he's here, but is moving his things in slowly, and will have his apartment until his lease is up at the end of January. He has also changed careers, which means we're adapting to a new schedule. I have been single for a long time, and have lived alone for over 8 years. I have never grocery shopped, or shared food or meals, with someone else. I always knew that losing weight was easier for me in that respect...I bought and ate what I wanted, no thought to what anyone else wanted or needed.
About a month or 2 ago, I canceled my Half Size Me Community membership. I think I just needed a break from talk about food and weight loss. I had bilateral carpal tunnel surgery in June, and in August I was diagnosed with a herniated disc in my back, and had chronic pain for 6-8 weeks. I did little to no exercise over the summer, and ice cream because a dietary staple.
Jeff and I are slowly but surely getting into a routine, although his school schedule has been crazy, with Back-to-School nights, and holidays, there hasn't been much of a rhythm. We're figuring out where to put all of his stuff, and have renovated one bathroom, and are working on turning the laundry room and closet into a mud room (although that process has been stalled by a leak we found, which required Jeff to remove a large part of the ceiling...all because I decided to repaint!) Anyway, things are coming together slowly, and I'm proud of how calm I've been able to stay, in spite of all the changes...I don't do well with change!
There are a bunch of things coming up: my cousin's baby shower, a trip Charleston, SC at Christmas to visit Jeff's best friend, the AFJROTC military ball in January, a trip to Vegas and the Grand Canyon at Easter, Jack and Mady's Communion in May, and hopefully a trip to Germany in July to visit some of Jeff's friends, and some of mine. Marriage is also in the cards at some point. I could certainly do all of these things at the weight I am now, have a wonderful time, and be happy. Jeff loves me the way I am, that I know for sure. I used to think that if I lost weight, I'd find a boyfriend. Well, I lost weight, gained some back, found a boyfriend, and gained back the rest. He's still here, and we're still happy. However, I want to get back down to a weight where I feel more comfortable, and can wear at least some of the clothes that no longer fit. My goal now is not to lose 40 lbs again...that number is not sustainable at this point in my life. My goal is to lose the 25 that I've gained over the past 8 or so months. I've rejoined the HSMC, started tracking calories on My Fitness Pal, am going for walks, starting back to strength training (mainly arms and abs), and Jeff and I have started taking a yoga class on Sunday mornings. I'm looking at my journey in 5 lb blocks. My focus now is to lose 5 lbs. Easy peasy!
Jeff and I have our first formal event coming up in a few weeks...his friend is getting married. I'm looking forward to dancing together...we both love to dance, but have never had the chance to do so together. I know I have to go and buy a new dress, because the ones I have don't fit. I'm not thrilled, but know that I will find something that I feel beautiful in. I no longer see myself as a fat girl. I'm a thin girl who's gained some weight, and needs to get it off. I will. Slowly but surely, I'll get there. I would not change the life I have right now for all the weight loss in the world, but who says I can't have it all???
Wednesday, July 1, 2015
Catching Up
I can't believe it's been almost 2 months since I've posted. I've wanted to write for the past few days, but haven't had a chance. Then this morning Jeff asked if I still had a blog, and I knew it was time! 2 weeks ago I decided to go back to counting WW points. Because I was at goal for so long, I have free eTools until April of 2016. For now, I'm taking advantage of that, and not attending meetings. Eventually I will need to weigh-in at a center if I want to keep using eTools, but I have 9 months free for now. I certainly want to be back at goal before then! In the past 2 weeks I've lost 2.6 lbs. This past week was terrible, but I still lost a pound, probably because I should've lost more last week, but was retaining water. I'll take it!
My exercise has been limited to walking since June 18th, when I had surgery on both hands for carpal tunnel surgery. I got my stitches out about a week ago, but my wrists are still very sore, and gripping things is somewhat painful, so it will be awhile before I can lift weights again. On the VERY bright side, the surgery was a success, and I no longer have numb hands for large chunks of my day, nor do I have to sleep with wrist guards for the first time in over 2 years! I'm so happy that I decided to have both hands done at once.
Jeff and I leave soon for a week-long vacation in Vermont, and I CANNOT WAIT!! It is the first "grown-up" vacation I've had in years. We'll be staying about 30 minutes southwest of Hanover, NH, and I am so excited to show Jeff Dartmouth. We are also meeting my best friend Toni and her husband for dinner one night. Once Jeff meets Toni, I will feel like he's met my WHOLE family. I'm leaving the dogs with a petsitter, and am a little nervous about that. It's significantly less expensive than boarding them, and being away from home for such a long stretch is hard on Annie and Fred, who will turn 11 and 12 this summer. I keep trying to explain to them that I'll be back...yes, this is definitely going to be harder on me than it will be on them!
I'm still active in the Half Size Me Community, and have a friend named Caia who has become my accountability buddy. We actually live about 20 minutes apart, and I'm looking forward to finally getting to meet her when I get back from vacation.
As of today I have 17 lbs to lose to get to my goal weight. Jeff and I are attending his friend's wedding at the beginning of October, and I want to be at my goal by then, and wear a dress I have in my closet. It's a very doable goal, as I'd only have to lose 1-2 lbs a week, which was my average when I lost my weight 6 years ago. I definitely needed a break from the WW plan, but it feels good now to be back.
My exercise has been limited to walking since June 18th, when I had surgery on both hands for carpal tunnel surgery. I got my stitches out about a week ago, but my wrists are still very sore, and gripping things is somewhat painful, so it will be awhile before I can lift weights again. On the VERY bright side, the surgery was a success, and I no longer have numb hands for large chunks of my day, nor do I have to sleep with wrist guards for the first time in over 2 years! I'm so happy that I decided to have both hands done at once.
Jeff and I leave soon for a week-long vacation in Vermont, and I CANNOT WAIT!! It is the first "grown-up" vacation I've had in years. We'll be staying about 30 minutes southwest of Hanover, NH, and I am so excited to show Jeff Dartmouth. We are also meeting my best friend Toni and her husband for dinner one night. Once Jeff meets Toni, I will feel like he's met my WHOLE family. I'm leaving the dogs with a petsitter, and am a little nervous about that. It's significantly less expensive than boarding them, and being away from home for such a long stretch is hard on Annie and Fred, who will turn 11 and 12 this summer. I keep trying to explain to them that I'll be back...yes, this is definitely going to be harder on me than it will be on them!
I'm still active in the Half Size Me Community, and have a friend named Caia who has become my accountability buddy. We actually live about 20 minutes apart, and I'm looking forward to finally getting to meet her when I get back from vacation.
As of today I have 17 lbs to lose to get to my goal weight. Jeff and I are attending his friend's wedding at the beginning of October, and I want to be at my goal by then, and wear a dress I have in my closet. It's a very doable goal, as I'd only have to lose 1-2 lbs a week, which was my average when I lost my weight 6 years ago. I definitely needed a break from the WW plan, but it feels good now to be back.
Tuesday, May 12, 2015
Creating the Life I Want to Live
I want a life free from weight obsession. To have that, I need to stop obsessing about my weight! I've realized that, for me, that means no numbers...no tracking of points or calories, just pictures of what I'm eating to keep me mindful. It also means no scale. My success will be based on changing my body composition by increasing my strength, by getting out and walking with my dog, because it clears my mind and gets me outside. It will be based on nurturing a wonderful relationship with an amazing man...something I have waited for for SO long! To find him, I went WAY outside my comfort zone, and in doing so, I have created the life I dreamed of. To fully enjoy it, I need to step further out of my comfort zone, and ditch the numbers!
I've started listening to some new podcasts, namely Lift Like a Girl with Nia Shanks, and Fearless Rebelle Radio with Summer Innanen. Like Half Size Me with Heather Robertson, these podcasts promote being happy with yourself NOW, not waiting until you get to some future ideal to live the life you want to live. They all understand that this journey to self-love and self-acceptance looks different for each person, but the main ideas are the same. Let go of the idea of perfection, figure out what you are willing to do forever, not just for 3 weeks or 6 months, eat what makes you feel good, eat when you are hungry, and realize that food is JUST food. Exercise because it makes you stronger, releases stress, and improves your health, not with the goal of getting skinny. The biggest lesson I'm learning is that I should do things that make me MORE, not things that make me less (smaller, lighter, less noticeable, quieter, etc.)
I started doing Nia Shanks 3x3x3 weight lifting program, and I love it! I love feeling stronger, love seeing muscles develop, love being able to put MORE weight on my bar, rather than focusing on seeing LESS weight on the scale. I've actually put my scales away, and I have no idea when, if ever, I'll get back on. I took my waist and hip measurements today, and will take them again next month. I hope to lose inches but, in the meantime, I bought myself some jeans and pants that fit me NOW. I'm really trying to enjoy the journey...enjoy getting stronger, enjoy my walks, which is when I get outside, listen to podcasts or audiobooks, drink my coffee, and clear my head. No matter what size I end up, I will be stronger, and I will be happy. That I know for sure.
I've started listening to some new podcasts, namely Lift Like a Girl with Nia Shanks, and Fearless Rebelle Radio with Summer Innanen. Like Half Size Me with Heather Robertson, these podcasts promote being happy with yourself NOW, not waiting until you get to some future ideal to live the life you want to live. They all understand that this journey to self-love and self-acceptance looks different for each person, but the main ideas are the same. Let go of the idea of perfection, figure out what you are willing to do forever, not just for 3 weeks or 6 months, eat what makes you feel good, eat when you are hungry, and realize that food is JUST food. Exercise because it makes you stronger, releases stress, and improves your health, not with the goal of getting skinny. The biggest lesson I'm learning is that I should do things that make me MORE, not things that make me less (smaller, lighter, less noticeable, quieter, etc.)
I started doing Nia Shanks 3x3x3 weight lifting program, and I love it! I love feeling stronger, love seeing muscles develop, love being able to put MORE weight on my bar, rather than focusing on seeing LESS weight on the scale. I've actually put my scales away, and I have no idea when, if ever, I'll get back on. I took my waist and hip measurements today, and will take them again next month. I hope to lose inches but, in the meantime, I bought myself some jeans and pants that fit me NOW. I'm really trying to enjoy the journey...enjoy getting stronger, enjoy my walks, which is when I get outside, listen to podcasts or audiobooks, drink my coffee, and clear my head. No matter what size I end up, I will be stronger, and I will be happy. That I know for sure.
Tuesday, April 28, 2015
Freedom from Numbers
I've made some pretty big changes since I last posted. The biggest one is that, starting last Tuesday, I no longer count calories or points. I don't weigh my food, but do still measure certain things with measuring cups and spoons. I felt a desperate need to get away from the obsession with numbers that I've had for most of my life. I noticed that when I knew I would be over my calorie allotment, I would just say "screw it", and go WAY over (like every weekend.) I started by not tracking my exercise, because I had started to see it as a means to eat more, and nothing else. It also seemed to give me license to overeat. Once I stopped doing that, I decided to stop counting calories period, but the idea of not tracking at all scared me. I found a free app called Two Grand, which I love! All I do is post pictures of everything I eat, track my water, and track whether or not I achieve any goals I've set (the app provides lots of suggestions.) It sounds strange, but simply stopping to take a picture of what I'm eating, and knowing that those who follow me on the app will see it, makes me much more mindful of what I'm putting in my mouth. I haven't binged since I started! Not to say I haven't enjoyed myself and eaten treats, sometimes more than I would've liked, but it's kept me from going off the deep end. I also love tracking my water and my goals. The app makes it so easy and fun! I started simple, with a goal of 48 oz of water a day, and not eating after 9 pm. I've achieved both goals everyday since I started!
I've also dramatically changed my thinking about exercise. I've started taking a 1.5-3 mile walk each day (usually about 2 miles) with Marty. I'm not sure which of us looks forward to it more! I get a 24 oz coffee from Wawa, listen to a podcast, and we enjoy the (finally) beautiful weather. I had gotten back into strength training, and then started listening to the Lift Like a Girl podcast, hosted by Nia Shanks. Last night I decided to order and download her 3x3x3 strength training program, which I started today. 3 exercises, 3 reps each, 3 workouts a week, for 10 weeks. Today went well, and I can't wait to see where I am at the end.
I don't feel like I've lost any weight in the past week, nor do my clothes feel different. Of course I still want to fit back into all of the clothes in my closet that don't fit, and hope that that will happen sooner rather than later. However, I'm starting to accept the fact that, if I continue to eat the way I'm eating now (in a mostly healthy, not restrictive, still enjoyable way), and get in my strength training and walks, and those clothes STILL don't fit, then I may have to buy a size 8 jeans. I'm pretty sure I'll live. For the first time in a long time, I just eat, I just walk, I just lift. I'm not counting anything, I'm not worrying about it, I'm not training, I'm not planning. I'm just living, and I'm loving it.
I've also dramatically changed my thinking about exercise. I've started taking a 1.5-3 mile walk each day (usually about 2 miles) with Marty. I'm not sure which of us looks forward to it more! I get a 24 oz coffee from Wawa, listen to a podcast, and we enjoy the (finally) beautiful weather. I had gotten back into strength training, and then started listening to the Lift Like a Girl podcast, hosted by Nia Shanks. Last night I decided to order and download her 3x3x3 strength training program, which I started today. 3 exercises, 3 reps each, 3 workouts a week, for 10 weeks. Today went well, and I can't wait to see where I am at the end.
I don't feel like I've lost any weight in the past week, nor do my clothes feel different. Of course I still want to fit back into all of the clothes in my closet that don't fit, and hope that that will happen sooner rather than later. However, I'm starting to accept the fact that, if I continue to eat the way I'm eating now (in a mostly healthy, not restrictive, still enjoyable way), and get in my strength training and walks, and those clothes STILL don't fit, then I may have to buy a size 8 jeans. I'm pretty sure I'll live. For the first time in a long time, I just eat, I just walk, I just lift. I'm not counting anything, I'm not worrying about it, I'm not training, I'm not planning. I'm just living, and I'm loving it.
Monday, April 13, 2015
Cutting Ties
I cancelled my WW Monthly Pass this morning, and I'm not going back. I had a great Wed/Thurs/Fri, an ok Sat, and a could've been better Sunday in terms of eating, and have been rocking my exercise plan...running, weights and walking. I got on the scale this morning and was basically the same as Wednesday. I'm sure a lot of it is the salty meals I had out this weekend, but immediately my mind kicked into "Ok, I've got to starve until Wednesday" mode. I got in the shower and decided I was done. I lost my weight weighing in on Friday mornings. I could then relax a bit over the weekend, and still undo any damage by just eating normally for the week. Because of my work schedule, I can no longer attend Friday morning meetings. I tried Thursdays (too far), and Wednesdays (too soon after the weekend). I realized that I am paying $45 a month to just go stand on the scale and have someone tell me what I already know, because I just weighed myself at home. I then leave and go work out...I don't stay for meetings anymore, because I get nothing out of them. I am going to do this on my own (with the help of the HSMC), or I'm not going to do it. I came very close to saying that I'm not even going to track anymore, because I'm so sick of thinking about what I'm going to eat, what I did eat, what I didn't eat, what I should eat, etc. After 37 years of this, I'm tired! I'm not quite ready to try intuitive eating...yet. I don't track on the weekends, and that's as much as I can let go now. I just want to eat what makes me feel good, workout to get strong, and enjoy this amazing time in my life. I'm ready to make something other than my weight the focus of my life. It's time.
Wednesday, April 8, 2015
3 Habits and a Goal
I went to WW today, and the scale did not cooperate. Nothing terrible, and I'm blaming it on Easter. I'm not too upset though, because overall I'm on the right track, and I know it. I finally realized that I had set My Fitness Pal at an activity level that was higher than my actual level. Therefore, it was telling me that I could eat far more calories than I actually could. That could partially explain why, since I've been using it, I haven't lost any significant weight. I finally figured it out, and reset it, so I think I will have greater success.
I decided last week that I am not going to run the half marathon in June. The one I ran last June was incredible! The one I ran in October was ok, but the training was torture. I had not run farther than 3 miles since that time, and didn't miss distance running at all. When I trained last summer, I swore to myself that I'd never do another race longer than a 5k. For a number of reasons, I signed up for the race this June, the same one I'd done last June. As training time approached, I began to dread it. Last weekend I ran 4 miles, and this past weekend I was to run 5, and build from there. I started to have anxiety about the long runs. I HATE distance running! I also realized that the long runs would eat into the limited time that Jeff and I have together, and that afterwards, I'd be exhausted. I asked myself why I was doing it, and I had no real answer. Yes, I'll lose out on the $75 registration fee, but I'll gain so much more. I am very much at peace with my decision.
A few days ago I wrote down 3 habits and a goal that I want to focus on. I was very proud of the fact that none of them involve calories, points, or the scale. The first is to drink 2 large (33.8 oz) or 4 small (about 16.8 or so) bottles of water a day. I am very bad about getting enough water, so this is something I really need to work on. The next is to do three 3-mile runs a week...pretty easy for me to stick to. The final habit is to not eat chocolate or ice cream when I'm alone. I've identified them as my 2 main binge foods. If I stick to eating them with someone else, either at my house or out, I figure that I won't binge on them. I've been tested this week with my solid chocolate basset hound that I got for Easter sitting on my counter. However, the fact that eating him feels somewhat like eating my children has made him easier to resist! The goal I set for myself is to fit into my jeans comfortably by Memorial Day. I have an idea of how many pounds I'd need to lose for that to happen, but I'm not positive. Of course I'd love for it to happen before Memorial Day, but that seemed like a good date to pick.
Overall, life is SO, so good! I was out walking with Marty this morning and felt like, even though it was cold, the winter doldrums have lifted, and I'm back to enjoying being active. I am so excited about the upcoming Summer, and if I can look and feel my best, it will only be better!
I decided last week that I am not going to run the half marathon in June. The one I ran last June was incredible! The one I ran in October was ok, but the training was torture. I had not run farther than 3 miles since that time, and didn't miss distance running at all. When I trained last summer, I swore to myself that I'd never do another race longer than a 5k. For a number of reasons, I signed up for the race this June, the same one I'd done last June. As training time approached, I began to dread it. Last weekend I ran 4 miles, and this past weekend I was to run 5, and build from there. I started to have anxiety about the long runs. I HATE distance running! I also realized that the long runs would eat into the limited time that Jeff and I have together, and that afterwards, I'd be exhausted. I asked myself why I was doing it, and I had no real answer. Yes, I'll lose out on the $75 registration fee, but I'll gain so much more. I am very much at peace with my decision.
A few days ago I wrote down 3 habits and a goal that I want to focus on. I was very proud of the fact that none of them involve calories, points, or the scale. The first is to drink 2 large (33.8 oz) or 4 small (about 16.8 or so) bottles of water a day. I am very bad about getting enough water, so this is something I really need to work on. The next is to do three 3-mile runs a week...pretty easy for me to stick to. The final habit is to not eat chocolate or ice cream when I'm alone. I've identified them as my 2 main binge foods. If I stick to eating them with someone else, either at my house or out, I figure that I won't binge on them. I've been tested this week with my solid chocolate basset hound that I got for Easter sitting on my counter. However, the fact that eating him feels somewhat like eating my children has made him easier to resist! The goal I set for myself is to fit into my jeans comfortably by Memorial Day. I have an idea of how many pounds I'd need to lose for that to happen, but I'm not positive. Of course I'd love for it to happen before Memorial Day, but that seemed like a good date to pick.
Overall, life is SO, so good! I was out walking with Marty this morning and felt like, even though it was cold, the winter doldrums have lifted, and I'm back to enjoying being active. I am so excited about the upcoming Summer, and if I can look and feel my best, it will only be better!
Wednesday, April 1, 2015
The Jeans
Last week I did 2 shakes a day, plus a dinner, every day except for Sunday and yesterday. I started officially training for my 1/2 marathon in June, and ran 4 miles on Sunday (the longest run I've done in about 6 months). I also started weight training again, also for the first time in about 5-6 months. On Saturday night I tried on a pair of jeans that I was last able to wear in January. For the first time in MONTHS, I got them on, zipped, and buttoned! They are not comfortable enough to wear yet, but I got them on, and felt great! I did have a few meals where I ate more than was ideal, and I made some not so great choices as far as snacking, but overall, it was a good week.
And then...I got on the scale at WW this morning, and am up 1.2 pounds. At first I was VERY discouraged. Why did I drink all those stupid shakes??? Then I went to the gym to do my weight training, and realized that, at just my 3rd session, I feel stronger. I decided in the car on the way home that I was going to shift my focus, and shift the focus of this blog.
I am going to continue to weigh in weekly at WW, because it is very important to me to get back to goal and maintain my lifetime status. However, my focus is going to be on wearing those jeans out this spring, and be able to breathe! My focus is going to be on continuing to train for my half marathon, and increase my mileage by one mile with each weekend long run. My focus is going to be on increasing my reps and weight during my weight training sessions. I'm no longer going to report my weight gains or losses here, at least not for now. There are so many things about me that are more important than how much I weigh.
I'm listening to an old HSMC meeting from the beginning of the year. The meeting was about goal setting, and during the meeting we wrote down goals in a notebook. Yes, I wrote down weight loss goals, and no, I haven't achieved them yet. However, on a separate page, I wrote down that I wanted to give online dating a try (it terrified me, and I'd avoided it like the plague for years!) I wrote down what I hoped to do, and what I hoped to find in a partner, and what type of relationship I wanted, and deserved. I had forgotten that I wrote this all down, but when I read through it, it made me smile. I sucked it up, gave it a try, met Jeff 2 days later, and have never been happier.
Yep, there is SO much more to life than a number on a scale :)
And then...I got on the scale at WW this morning, and am up 1.2 pounds. At first I was VERY discouraged. Why did I drink all those stupid shakes??? Then I went to the gym to do my weight training, and realized that, at just my 3rd session, I feel stronger. I decided in the car on the way home that I was going to shift my focus, and shift the focus of this blog.
I am going to continue to weigh in weekly at WW, because it is very important to me to get back to goal and maintain my lifetime status. However, my focus is going to be on wearing those jeans out this spring, and be able to breathe! My focus is going to be on continuing to train for my half marathon, and increase my mileage by one mile with each weekend long run. My focus is going to be on increasing my reps and weight during my weight training sessions. I'm no longer going to report my weight gains or losses here, at least not for now. There are so many things about me that are more important than how much I weigh.
I'm listening to an old HSMC meeting from the beginning of the year. The meeting was about goal setting, and during the meeting we wrote down goals in a notebook. Yes, I wrote down weight loss goals, and no, I haven't achieved them yet. However, on a separate page, I wrote down that I wanted to give online dating a try (it terrified me, and I'd avoided it like the plague for years!) I wrote down what I hoped to do, and what I hoped to find in a partner, and what type of relationship I wanted, and deserved. I had forgotten that I wrote this all down, but when I read through it, it made me smile. I sucked it up, gave it a try, met Jeff 2 days later, and have never been happier.
Yep, there is SO much more to life than a number on a scale :)
Wednesday, March 25, 2015
Hallelujah!!!
Finally! I went to WW this morning, and was down 3.4 lbs! Thank God! I'm finally back out of the 160's, although barely. I was getting very discouraged, feeling like I was never going to lose weight again. I knew going in this morning that I'd lost, but didn't know how much. I'm sure most of it is water, but that needs to come off too, so who cares? I can already tell that my pants fit better. I have a Communion party to go to on May 9th, and have promised Jeff that I will wear a dress he has seen me in in pictures, and really likes. If I'm going to keep that promise, I still have some work to do. But now it seems possible...I'm re-energized.
People want to know how I did it. Since Monday, I've done shakes (from The Virgin Diet) for breakfast and lunch. I think I did it Saturday and Sunday too, but my dinner/dessert Sunday was big, so I don't think I can really count that day. Saturday I was sick, and ate very little, so that probably helped. Monday night I went out for Indian food, but last night I had a Virgin Diet compliant dinner...for the most part. I'm not being totally strict (ff creamer in my coffee, because I don't like the coconut milk creamer, chili seasoning in my chili that has flour and sugar in it, etc.) I'm mainly trying to do the 2 shakes and a compliant dinner as many days as I can. This Sunday, Jeff and I are going out to dinner with a friend of mine from HS and her husband. I will eat what I want (within reason.) I know that doing something like this is not sustainable forever, but right now I need to see and feel things moving in the right direction. I am officially training for my half marathon now, and I need to be lighter, so that running is easier. I need to fit into my spring and summer clothes. I want to fit into that dress by May 9th. I want to get back to maintaining, and not losing. I had gotten really good at maintaining, but I'm no longer great at losing. I want to get the weight off, or at least some of it, fast, and then get back to what I did for 5 years.
People want to know how I did it. Since Monday, I've done shakes (from The Virgin Diet) for breakfast and lunch. I think I did it Saturday and Sunday too, but my dinner/dessert Sunday was big, so I don't think I can really count that day. Saturday I was sick, and ate very little, so that probably helped. Monday night I went out for Indian food, but last night I had a Virgin Diet compliant dinner...for the most part. I'm not being totally strict (ff creamer in my coffee, because I don't like the coconut milk creamer, chili seasoning in my chili that has flour and sugar in it, etc.) I'm mainly trying to do the 2 shakes and a compliant dinner as many days as I can. This Sunday, Jeff and I are going out to dinner with a friend of mine from HS and her husband. I will eat what I want (within reason.) I know that doing something like this is not sustainable forever, but right now I need to see and feel things moving in the right direction. I am officially training for my half marathon now, and I need to be lighter, so that running is easier. I need to fit into my spring and summer clothes. I want to fit into that dress by May 9th. I want to get back to maintaining, and not losing. I had gotten really good at maintaining, but I'm no longer great at losing. I want to get the weight off, or at least some of it, fast, and then get back to what I did for 5 years.
Wednesday, March 18, 2015
Frustrated
I was up 0.8 at WW this morning. Since I've started weighing in weekly, over a month ago, I have not been down even one time. I'm either up, or the same. Have I been perfect? Of course not. But do I think I deserve to have at least lost 1 stinking pound? Hell yes! Maybe I'm viewing my past weight loss success through rose colored glasses, but I feel like I used to have so much more wiggle room than I seem to have now (none). I'm not even going up and down, and I'm starting to wonder if I'm capable of losing any weight ever again!
I'm worried it's that I'm older (I turn 42 tomorrow). I'm worried it's because I'm not exercising as much as I used to. I'm worrying that my eating needs to be perfect, all the time. If it does, then let's face it, I won't ever lose another pound, because perfection is not possible.
This week has been tough. My boyfriend Jeff met my parents Sunday at a restaurant where we celebrated my birthday with a nice dinner. Monday there was a party for me at work with pastries, yesterday was St. Patrick's Day, and my SIL Terri treated me to breakfast for my birthday. Tomorrow is my birthday, and Jeff is cooking me dinner. I know that these things only happen once a year, and I refuse to not celebrate and enjoy it. I also know it's not a license to go overboard.
I've decided to start drinking protein shakes for breakfast and lunch whenever possible (meaning I don't have plans for either of those meals), and then do a sensible dinner. I'm not doing the Virgin Diet again, although the shakes are from the book. They give me a lot of protein, fruits and veggies, keep my calories under control, are filling, easy, and fit well into my lifestyle when I'm working. I know I'll get sick of them eventually, but I need a jumpstart to prove to myself that this weight can, and will, come off!
I'm worried it's that I'm older (I turn 42 tomorrow). I'm worried it's because I'm not exercising as much as I used to. I'm worrying that my eating needs to be perfect, all the time. If it does, then let's face it, I won't ever lose another pound, because perfection is not possible.
This week has been tough. My boyfriend Jeff met my parents Sunday at a restaurant where we celebrated my birthday with a nice dinner. Monday there was a party for me at work with pastries, yesterday was St. Patrick's Day, and my SIL Terri treated me to breakfast for my birthday. Tomorrow is my birthday, and Jeff is cooking me dinner. I know that these things only happen once a year, and I refuse to not celebrate and enjoy it. I also know it's not a license to go overboard.
I've decided to start drinking protein shakes for breakfast and lunch whenever possible (meaning I don't have plans for either of those meals), and then do a sensible dinner. I'm not doing the Virgin Diet again, although the shakes are from the book. They give me a lot of protein, fruits and veggies, keep my calories under control, are filling, easy, and fit well into my lifestyle when I'm working. I know I'll get sick of them eventually, but I need a jumpstart to prove to myself that this weight can, and will, come off!
Wednesday, March 11, 2015
I'm Famous!!!
Well, at least in my mind I am! Seriously, one of the coolest things I've ever experienced was being interviewed for, and then listening to, my episode of the Half Size Me Show (#161)! You can listen to my episode by clicking here. I've gotten very positive feedback from friends, family, and fellow HSMC members. I also received new blog followers, and an email from a man who lost 291 lbs, and said that he can relate to my struggles with maintenance. It's been incredibly rewarding, and I feel so lucky to have been given the opportunity to tell my story in such a unique way.
The biggest surprise for me has been how much I've gotten from listening to my own interview. It came out on Monday, and I've listened to it 3.5 times! The first time was at 5am Monday morning, after it first came out. The second time was on Monday when I was running on the treadmill, and the 3rd time was Monday evening in the car while I was out running errands. This morning I went to the gym to run, and started out listening to an audiobook. But the run felt hard today, so I switched over to my podcast. Hearing myself say that I knew that the weight would never win because I would never give up, pushed me through a difficult workout. Before last night's HSMC meeting, Heather and I were talking. I said that hearing myself speaking so logically, authoritatively, but also honestly about what I did, what I need to do, and how hard it is, empowers me to push forward now. I feel like hearing my own words, in my own voice, will be an invaluable tool to help me get back to where I want to be, and stay there. It's an amazing gift I was given, and I'm so grateful!
I weighed in at WW today, and was up 0.8 lbs from last week. Considering that I weighed myself on Monday and was up 2.5 lbs, I will take the 0.8! I was talking to my boyfriend this morning, and told him that the key for me now is to get the weekends under control. His response? "We can do that together." That kind of support is so helpful...I am very lucky! We agreed that we still want to eat out, but maybe need to do an appetizer OR dessert, not both. I also need to stop looking at every meal out as a "special occasion" (ie; an excuse to eat whatever I want), and make better choices. He can support me, but he can't do it for me. Ultimately, what I eat is my decision, and only I can do the work that needs to be done.
After WW, I went to the gym and ran. I normally run on Tuesdays and Thursdays, but Tuesday I had a hair appointment, and tomorrow I have continuing education all day long. Rather than use those as excuses to not run, I just shuffled things around. Tomorrow and Friday I'll get my exercise in by walking from Penn Station to Bryant Park and back. If the weather is anything like it is today, I'll enjoy those walks immensely!! After my run, I was hungry, because I rarely eat before I work out. I wanted a bagel with cream cheese, but I had that yesterday during my hair appointment, and want to keep that as a treat. Instead, I bought a 2 pack of hardboiled eggs at Wawa, along with my coffee, and ate those instead.
My focus right now is on staying at around 1500 calories a day (with free fruits and veggies), increasing my protein and water intake, and starting to train for my June half marathon. If I do those things, weight loss will follow. I'm in a very good place right now mentally, and am looking forward to the warm weather, trips I have planned, and getting to a place physically where I feel best. I know it will happen if I put the work in, and I will...quitting is NOT an option!
The biggest surprise for me has been how much I've gotten from listening to my own interview. It came out on Monday, and I've listened to it 3.5 times! The first time was at 5am Monday morning, after it first came out. The second time was on Monday when I was running on the treadmill, and the 3rd time was Monday evening in the car while I was out running errands. This morning I went to the gym to run, and started out listening to an audiobook. But the run felt hard today, so I switched over to my podcast. Hearing myself say that I knew that the weight would never win because I would never give up, pushed me through a difficult workout. Before last night's HSMC meeting, Heather and I were talking. I said that hearing myself speaking so logically, authoritatively, but also honestly about what I did, what I need to do, and how hard it is, empowers me to push forward now. I feel like hearing my own words, in my own voice, will be an invaluable tool to help me get back to where I want to be, and stay there. It's an amazing gift I was given, and I'm so grateful!
I weighed in at WW today, and was up 0.8 lbs from last week. Considering that I weighed myself on Monday and was up 2.5 lbs, I will take the 0.8! I was talking to my boyfriend this morning, and told him that the key for me now is to get the weekends under control. His response? "We can do that together." That kind of support is so helpful...I am very lucky! We agreed that we still want to eat out, but maybe need to do an appetizer OR dessert, not both. I also need to stop looking at every meal out as a "special occasion" (ie; an excuse to eat whatever I want), and make better choices. He can support me, but he can't do it for me. Ultimately, what I eat is my decision, and only I can do the work that needs to be done.
After WW, I went to the gym and ran. I normally run on Tuesdays and Thursdays, but Tuesday I had a hair appointment, and tomorrow I have continuing education all day long. Rather than use those as excuses to not run, I just shuffled things around. Tomorrow and Friday I'll get my exercise in by walking from Penn Station to Bryant Park and back. If the weather is anything like it is today, I'll enjoy those walks immensely!! After my run, I was hungry, because I rarely eat before I work out. I wanted a bagel with cream cheese, but I had that yesterday during my hair appointment, and want to keep that as a treat. Instead, I bought a 2 pack of hardboiled eggs at Wawa, along with my coffee, and ate those instead.
My focus right now is on staying at around 1500 calories a day (with free fruits and veggies), increasing my protein and water intake, and starting to train for my June half marathon. If I do those things, weight loss will follow. I'm in a very good place right now mentally, and am looking forward to the warm weather, trips I have planned, and getting to a place physically where I feel best. I know it will happen if I put the work in, and I will...quitting is NOT an option!
Tuesday, March 3, 2015
Like a ship, adrift at sea...
I'm feeling a bit lost, frustrated, and confused. I weighed myself this morning and was the same as last Wednesday. I'm not surprised, but I am disappointed, because tomorrow is my weigh-in day. I tracked all but Sunday, but was over 29 all but today...well, even today I was at 31, and I used more than my 49 extra and activity points for the week...I'm in the dreaded negative!! I really prefer using MFP to etools...I actually hate etools! I feel like what I use to track is much less important than finding a range (calories, points, whatever), and sticking to it. So I'm going to experiment. If 50 cal is approx 1 point, and I aim for 29 points a day, then I should be eating around 1500 cal (keeping fruits and veggies free, like on WW). The 49 extra points that WW allows are about 2500 cal to splurge for the week. I'm gonna go at it this way for a week, and see what happens. My pants are tight, running is hard, because I'm carrying about 15 more pounds than last year, and im not happy with how I look, or my clothes feel. I need to stop the nonsense and just do something, anything! I will combine the 2 plans, taking the parts I like best from both, and cross my fingers.
Thursday, February 26, 2015
Points
After I blogged yesterday and said that I was sticking with tracking calories in MFP, I started to doubt that decision. I don't really know how to deal with splurges when I'm counting calories. On WW, you have 49 extra points, as well as activity points, to use towards special occasions. When tracking calories, if I splurge, it's kind of a free for all, because I don't have any "rules" to follow. I do very well with rules. I've also found that, after years and years of counting points, I can guestimate things pretty well. However, I have absolutely no idea how many calories things have. I just read a comment on yesterday's post from a reader who is in a similar situation as I am, and her reasons for going back to points, although calories make more sense to her too, are exactly the things I've been thinking about. That includes the attractiveness of "free" fruits and veggies as well. I've decided to switch back to points tomorrow. I'll give myself the 49 weekly, although I maybe have dipped into them a bit yesterday and today. I already started with calories today, so I want to wait and start fresh tomorrow. My fitbit now tracks activity points on etools, so that will be helpful. If I'm going to "go home" to WW, I might as well go all the way home!
Wednesday, February 25, 2015
Coming Home
I had a realization yesterday. I've been searching for a way to get back on track, to lose the weight I've gained, and to find a rhythm again. In the process of trying to figure it out, my weight has kept on going up. It hit me that, really, I've known all along what I need to do...I need to do what worked for me in the beginning, and for the past 5+ years. Weight Watchers. I don't know why that wasn't obvious all along. I think that I was bored, and needed to try something new. Maybe I just needed a break from doing what I was "supposed to do." I decided yesterday morning to stop looking for a quick fix, or something that would get the weight off as fast as possible. When I do that, I put it back on just as fast. I'm no longer just trying to lose 5 lbs, but more like 15. It's going to take awhile, and I know that. And I'm ok with that. I don't have a choice. I've been futzing around for months now, eating crap, skipping my work outs, etc. Now it's going to take me a few months to get the weight off...seems only fair.
I'm taking it one meal at a time. I'm going to continue to track calories in My Fitness Pal, rather than points, because it makes more sense to me. Rather than just trying to eat at "a deficit" each day, which was too variable and ill-defined for me, I've chosen a 1600 calorie a day limit. Yesterday I was below that, today I'll be at 1638. I've also realized that, as much as possible, I need to pre-track my food, until I get more familiar with the calories in things. Otherwise, I track at the end of the day, and pray I haven't gone over, which is rarely the case! I'm back to weighing in at WW every week, and I know now that I will need to do this for THE REST OF MY LIFE. Just like I need to brush my teeth every day. Today I was up 2.2 lbs...not exactly what I was hoping for after going back last week, but it is what it is, and I move on.
In the HSM community, we talk about giving yourself credit for the things you do right, instead of just focusing on what you've done wrong. I realized today that, in spite of how far I've strayed with my eating, I have continued to get in regular exercise. Perhaps not at the level I've done in the past, but it is a part of my life that I can't imagine giving up completely. I also tend to have healthy breakfasts and lunches...it's dinner and snacks where I fall off the wagon. But again, I am not as far gone as I once was, and that is something to acknowledge.
I've started listening to the audiobook of The Beck Diet Solution. I'm only a few chapters in, but it's a cognitive behavioral therapy approach to weight loss. The book does not promote any diet, but rather tries to help you change your thinking and behaviors towards food. I've heard very good things about it, and am excited to try and apply some of its suggestions to my own life.
My HSM interview should be coming out in the next few weeks and, when it does, I will let you know. There will be the interview, and then an additional excerpt in a "Heather Weighs In" segment. I can't wait to hear how it turned out, and hope that my current struggles won't keep those who hear it from being able to learn from my experiences.
I'm taking it one meal at a time. I'm going to continue to track calories in My Fitness Pal, rather than points, because it makes more sense to me. Rather than just trying to eat at "a deficit" each day, which was too variable and ill-defined for me, I've chosen a 1600 calorie a day limit. Yesterday I was below that, today I'll be at 1638. I've also realized that, as much as possible, I need to pre-track my food, until I get more familiar with the calories in things. Otherwise, I track at the end of the day, and pray I haven't gone over, which is rarely the case! I'm back to weighing in at WW every week, and I know now that I will need to do this for THE REST OF MY LIFE. Just like I need to brush my teeth every day. Today I was up 2.2 lbs...not exactly what I was hoping for after going back last week, but it is what it is, and I move on.
In the HSM community, we talk about giving yourself credit for the things you do right, instead of just focusing on what you've done wrong. I realized today that, in spite of how far I've strayed with my eating, I have continued to get in regular exercise. Perhaps not at the level I've done in the past, but it is a part of my life that I can't imagine giving up completely. I also tend to have healthy breakfasts and lunches...it's dinner and snacks where I fall off the wagon. But again, I am not as far gone as I once was, and that is something to acknowledge.
I've started listening to the audiobook of The Beck Diet Solution. I'm only a few chapters in, but it's a cognitive behavioral therapy approach to weight loss. The book does not promote any diet, but rather tries to help you change your thinking and behaviors towards food. I've heard very good things about it, and am excited to try and apply some of its suggestions to my own life.
My HSM interview should be coming out in the next few weeks and, when it does, I will let you know. There will be the interview, and then an additional excerpt in a "Heather Weighs In" segment. I can't wait to hear how it turned out, and hope that my current struggles won't keep those who hear it from being able to learn from my experiences.
Wednesday, February 18, 2015
WW Weigh-In
I faced the music today. I went to WW, and weighed-in at 158.8. My scale is different than the WW scale. At home, without clothes on, I weighed 159. I like the WW scale better! From now on, I will no longer weigh myself at home. I used to weigh myself obsessively, but got away from it, and was only weighing myself once a week at WW. When I started only going once a month, I went back to weighing myself at home. I never got as bad with it as I had been, but I was getting on the scale more than once a week, and that's not something I want to fall back into. I bought a monthly pass, rather than paying every week. I know that it's going to take me more than a week to lose 6.8 lbs, which means I will have to pay for at least the next few weeks. I save money by doing the monthly pass, and it gives me an incentive to keep going each week, regardless of how I've done.
This morning I did 30 minutes on my recumbent bike before the meeting. I didn't stay for the meeting, and rarely will. Last night was a Half Size Me (HSM) Community meeting, and tonight is an HSM Maintenance meeting. I get much more out of these meetings than I do out of WW meetings. I am also tracking calories on My Fitness Pal rather than reverting back to points. The thing that I clearly do need from WW though, is the accountability of going and weighing in. I am learning to use different aspects of different plans, apps, groups, etc., to build my own plan that works for me. This is my journey, and I am constantly figuring out what I need.
This morning I did 30 minutes on my recumbent bike before the meeting. I didn't stay for the meeting, and rarely will. Last night was a Half Size Me (HSM) Community meeting, and tonight is an HSM Maintenance meeting. I get much more out of these meetings than I do out of WW meetings. I am also tracking calories on My Fitness Pal rather than reverting back to points. The thing that I clearly do need from WW though, is the accountability of going and weighing in. I am learning to use different aspects of different plans, apps, groups, etc., to build my own plan that works for me. This is my journey, and I am constantly figuring out what I need.
Tuesday, February 17, 2015
Fat Tuesday
I am Catholic, which means that Lent starts tomorrow for me, which means that today is "Fat Tuesday." I will not be celebrating it this year, as I feel like I've had a "Fat Past Few Months", and don't need one more day of overeating! I hadn't given Lent much thought...it snuck up on me. This morning I decided that, rather than give something up, I wanted to add a healthy habit or two to my routine. I chose starting a Gratitude Journal, and committing to my running schedule. I started today by doing a 2 mile run at 6 mph (basically my fastest sustainable pace), and then going to Staples and buying a very pretty day planner to use as my journal. It was pretty expensive, but I wanted something nice that I would enjoy using.
I dread running every day that I'm supposed to do it. DREAD it! I don't start my formal training for my June 1/2 marathon until 3/24, but I want to do two 2-mile runs a week until then, just to get some consistency. I've maybe managed 1 run a week, but not even that recently. It snowed this morning, and I was going to use that as an excuse to do my bike instead. However, I didn't have to be at work until 2, so I went to the gym at 11:30, and the roads were fine. When I was done I felt SO good, and so happy that I had done it. I then went and bought myself an iced coffee, and my new journal.
I've heard a lot about Gratitude Journals in the HSM Community. The idea is that we tend to focus on all the things we're not doing, or don't have, or that we're not. However, there is so much positive and good, so many things that we are doing, and do have, and those things should be the focus. I've decided that each day during Lent (starting today, and perhaps continuing even after Easter), I going to write down 5 things I'm grateful for. It could be general things, or things specific to that day. I'm excited to see what I come up with!
Valentine's Day weekend was not the best time to try to get my eating back on track, although I don't think I did terribly. It was a fun, relaxing, memorable weekend, and I enjoyed every minute of it. I don't regret anything, and have not given any thought to what I ate. I woke up this morning ready to go. WW weigh-in tomorrow. I know I will have to pay, and am going to buy a monthly pass, and do so until I'm back at goal. It's time to get serious, and I'm up for the challenge!
I dread running every day that I'm supposed to do it. DREAD it! I don't start my formal training for my June 1/2 marathon until 3/24, but I want to do two 2-mile runs a week until then, just to get some consistency. I've maybe managed 1 run a week, but not even that recently. It snowed this morning, and I was going to use that as an excuse to do my bike instead. However, I didn't have to be at work until 2, so I went to the gym at 11:30, and the roads were fine. When I was done I felt SO good, and so happy that I had done it. I then went and bought myself an iced coffee, and my new journal.
I've heard a lot about Gratitude Journals in the HSM Community. The idea is that we tend to focus on all the things we're not doing, or don't have, or that we're not. However, there is so much positive and good, so many things that we are doing, and do have, and those things should be the focus. I've decided that each day during Lent (starting today, and perhaps continuing even after Easter), I going to write down 5 things I'm grateful for. It could be general things, or things specific to that day. I'm excited to see what I come up with!
Valentine's Day weekend was not the best time to try to get my eating back on track, although I don't think I did terribly. It was a fun, relaxing, memorable weekend, and I enjoyed every minute of it. I don't regret anything, and have not given any thought to what I ate. I woke up this morning ready to go. WW weigh-in tomorrow. I know I will have to pay, and am going to buy a monthly pass, and do so until I'm back at goal. It's time to get serious, and I'm up for the challenge!
Thursday, February 12, 2015
Full Disclosure
1. I'm in a new relationship with a wonderful man.
2. This morning I weighed 159.3 lbs.
Item #1 makes me very happy. Item #2, not so much. This is a weight-loss/weight-maintenance blog, and that's what it will remain. Because of that, I have not talked too much about my personal life. Yes, my relationships, whether they be with family, friends, co-workers, or a boyfriend, have a profound effect on my mood, which can have a significant impact on whether or not I stay on plan for a day, a week, a month. However, I don't discuss specifics of arguments I have, situations I'm in, etc., because those things involve another person, and it's not only my story to tell.
I have said that I'm in a very good place in my life, and that I am very happy. I had my HSM interview on Monday (which was so much fun!), and Heather asked about how being in a relationship now has effected my thinking about my weight. Since I talked about it with her, I figured that I should address it here as well, and I got the ok from Jeff, so here goes!
I am now with a man who doesn't want me to change at all, unless it will make me happy. At first I took that as a license to eat whatever I want because...I'm happy! Ice cream makes me happier! Let's eat ice cream! However, ice cream makes me temporarily happy. What makes me NOT happy is having to wear leggings every day, because my other work pants don't fit. What doesn't make me happy is seeing the scale creep up towards 160, a number I haven't seen in years, and don't ever want to see again. What doesn't make me happy is committing to having a "good" day, but not really believing that it will happen. What doesn't make me happy is never telling myself no.
I woke up this morning with a fire lit in me. I didn't go to the gym and run as I'd planned, but I walked Marty for close to an hour, and feel really good about that. I made the decision to go back to WW on Wednesday and weigh-in. Right now I'm 9 lbs above my goal, so I will have to pay for the next few weeks, and I am fine with that. My experiment of only weighing in once a month has not worked, so I am committing to weighing in weekly again. It worked for 5 years. I needed a break, but now I'm ready to go back to an important tool for my long-term success. I am not switching back to tracking points, but will continue to track calories on MFP. However I need to be more committed to eating at a deficit. I'm tracking religiously, but not really caring what the final number for the day is. That has to change. Perhaps Valentine's Day weekend is not the BEST time to start this, but I will do the best I can!
I am going to figure out when I need to start training for my half marathon and write out my runs on my calendar. I believe I need to start in mid-March, which is right around the corner. I also want to drink more water, which shouldn't be hard, because I currently drink none. I'm not setting an amount right now, just making a point to drink SOME each day!
I worked very hard over the past year on no longer compartmentalizing my life. For a very long time, I focused on school, then career, then weight-loss, and never put much effort into having a significant relationship. I finally decided that it was time, and I am very lucky to have found someone so quickly. What I am realizing is that I am now focusing solely on the relationship (and work and friends), and not taking care of myself. That is not acceptable either, and it will change, starting today.
2. This morning I weighed 159.3 lbs.
Item #1 makes me very happy. Item #2, not so much. This is a weight-loss/weight-maintenance blog, and that's what it will remain. Because of that, I have not talked too much about my personal life. Yes, my relationships, whether they be with family, friends, co-workers, or a boyfriend, have a profound effect on my mood, which can have a significant impact on whether or not I stay on plan for a day, a week, a month. However, I don't discuss specifics of arguments I have, situations I'm in, etc., because those things involve another person, and it's not only my story to tell.
I have said that I'm in a very good place in my life, and that I am very happy. I had my HSM interview on Monday (which was so much fun!), and Heather asked about how being in a relationship now has effected my thinking about my weight. Since I talked about it with her, I figured that I should address it here as well, and I got the ok from Jeff, so here goes!
I am now with a man who doesn't want me to change at all, unless it will make me happy. At first I took that as a license to eat whatever I want because...I'm happy! Ice cream makes me happier! Let's eat ice cream! However, ice cream makes me temporarily happy. What makes me NOT happy is having to wear leggings every day, because my other work pants don't fit. What doesn't make me happy is seeing the scale creep up towards 160, a number I haven't seen in years, and don't ever want to see again. What doesn't make me happy is committing to having a "good" day, but not really believing that it will happen. What doesn't make me happy is never telling myself no.
I woke up this morning with a fire lit in me. I didn't go to the gym and run as I'd planned, but I walked Marty for close to an hour, and feel really good about that. I made the decision to go back to WW on Wednesday and weigh-in. Right now I'm 9 lbs above my goal, so I will have to pay for the next few weeks, and I am fine with that. My experiment of only weighing in once a month has not worked, so I am committing to weighing in weekly again. It worked for 5 years. I needed a break, but now I'm ready to go back to an important tool for my long-term success. I am not switching back to tracking points, but will continue to track calories on MFP. However I need to be more committed to eating at a deficit. I'm tracking religiously, but not really caring what the final number for the day is. That has to change. Perhaps Valentine's Day weekend is not the BEST time to start this, but I will do the best I can!
I am going to figure out when I need to start training for my half marathon and write out my runs on my calendar. I believe I need to start in mid-March, which is right around the corner. I also want to drink more water, which shouldn't be hard, because I currently drink none. I'm not setting an amount right now, just making a point to drink SOME each day!
I worked very hard over the past year on no longer compartmentalizing my life. For a very long time, I focused on school, then career, then weight-loss, and never put much effort into having a significant relationship. I finally decided that it was time, and I am very lucky to have found someone so quickly. What I am realizing is that I am now focusing solely on the relationship (and work and friends), and not taking care of myself. That is not acceptable either, and it will change, starting today.
Wednesday, February 4, 2015
Don't need to fix, but still need to work.
It's amazing to me that, at almost 42 years old, I am still learning so many things about myself. I have been very open about the fact that, as soon as I stopped the Virgin Diet, not only did I fall off the wagon, but I got run over by it! I've been trying to figure out why I'm so unmotivated to do anything I need to do, and how to get my focus back.
My life is so full right now, in the best possible ways. I am very happy, content, excited, and calm. I am more comfortable with who I am, both on the inside, and on the outside, than I have ever been...and that is the problem. I realize that I have always used diet and exercise as a way to try to "fix" myself. Once I lost weight, I would love me, and so would everyone else. When I did lose weight, and my life wasn't perfect, I'd gain it back, and start all over. As long as I had weight to lose, there was a reason why my life wasn't perfect. I could diet, and "know" that once I worked hard enough, ate little enough, worked out hard enough, and got small enough, then everything else would fall into place.
Now a funny thing has happened. I have 10-15 lbs I'd like to lose, yet my life, while not perfect by any means, is pretty damn good. So why bother losing the extra few pounds? This is where my thinking needs to change. I need to lose those pounds, because it will get me to the place where I feel best, where I think I look best, where all my clothes fit, and where I can start training for my June race more easily. I need to lose those pounds because, in doing so, I will be feeding my body healthy, nourishing foods, instead of crap. I need to lose those pounds so that when the summer comes, I can be active, and rock a bathing suit at the beach! It has nothing to do wih fixing something that is broken, or striving for perfection. It is about being the best me that I can be, so that I can enjoy the incredible life I've been blessed with.
I've worked so hard, on both the internal and external. It's time to bring the two together, and be who I want to be, look how I want to look, and feel how I want to feel, for me, and only me. It starts today with 30 min on my bike, 10 min of kettlebells, and eating at a calorie deficit and tracking it in MFP. Let's do this!
My life is so full right now, in the best possible ways. I am very happy, content, excited, and calm. I am more comfortable with who I am, both on the inside, and on the outside, than I have ever been...and that is the problem. I realize that I have always used diet and exercise as a way to try to "fix" myself. Once I lost weight, I would love me, and so would everyone else. When I did lose weight, and my life wasn't perfect, I'd gain it back, and start all over. As long as I had weight to lose, there was a reason why my life wasn't perfect. I could diet, and "know" that once I worked hard enough, ate little enough, worked out hard enough, and got small enough, then everything else would fall into place.
Now a funny thing has happened. I have 10-15 lbs I'd like to lose, yet my life, while not perfect by any means, is pretty damn good. So why bother losing the extra few pounds? This is where my thinking needs to change. I need to lose those pounds, because it will get me to the place where I feel best, where I think I look best, where all my clothes fit, and where I can start training for my June race more easily. I need to lose those pounds because, in doing so, I will be feeding my body healthy, nourishing foods, instead of crap. I need to lose those pounds so that when the summer comes, I can be active, and rock a bathing suit at the beach! It has nothing to do wih fixing something that is broken, or striving for perfection. It is about being the best me that I can be, so that I can enjoy the incredible life I've been blessed with.
I've worked so hard, on both the internal and external. It's time to bring the two together, and be who I want to be, look how I want to look, and feel how I want to feel, for me, and only me. It starts today with 30 min on my bike, 10 min of kettlebells, and eating at a calorie deficit and tracking it in MFP. Let's do this!
Monday, February 2, 2015
No Routine AT ALL!
If you want to know how to lose weight and/or keep it off, then don't do anything that I'm doing these days! I've gained back all but a pound or 2 that I lost on the Virgin Diet. My eating has been terrible (chocolate for lunch anyone?), and my exercise, sporadic at best. Tomorrow should be a run day, and it could be if I woke up early, because I have a hair appointment at 9. I know I should commit to doing so, but I'm just not there right now. I go through periods where I am so focused, and other periods where I'm not at all. During those times, I just have to mix in good days with bad ones, so that I don't go off the deep end, and hold on tight until the focus comes back. I haven't figured out what exactly happens to get it back, but it does eventually return. Tomorrow night is an HSM meeting, which will help. Next Monday is my interview, and I really want to be in a strong frame of mind for that. I need to stop making excuses, and do what I know needs to be done...because I do know.
Tuesday, January 27, 2015
The "Blizzard"
Not much new to report. There is a Half Size Me meeting tonight at 8, and I need to listen! I've let my diet and exercise slide over the past week or two. Life is good right now, and I'm realizing that I often fixated on those things as a way to "fix" myself. Now that I'm starting to believe that I don't need fixing, I've gotten sloppy and lazy. The "blizzard" we got here in Central NJ (2.5" at my house, which closed my office yesterday and today) didn't help. I tend to stock up on chocolate while everyone else is buying eggs and milk! I am going to follow the Virgin Diet again Wednesday-Friday to get off some of the crap I've eaten over the past few days. I have a bunch of stuff going on this weekend that will include food. I want to go into it all feeling good, and back in control. I'm ready to get back on track.
Tuesday, January 20, 2015
Virgin Diet: The Aftermath
I stopped the diet after 12 days rather than doing 21. I decided that I wanted/needed to get back to eating in a sustainable way, and that I didn't want to take an additional 4 weeks after the initial 3 to reintroduce things one at a time. I ate out Friday night, Saturday afternoon and Sunday morning, and had dessert twice. On Monday morning I was up 2.3 lbs. Last night I had Thai food and this morning was up another 2-3. Thing is, I am so not freaking out! I know it's water, I feel in control, my clothes fit, and I'm happy with how I look. I have not had any adverse reactions to the foods I've eaten. I feel great!
My plan is to continue with a shake for breakfast, and probably for lunch, during the week, and a shake for breakfast on the weekends. During the week I will have a "sensible" dinner, and will limit white flour and sugar. I will keep peanuts, corn and soy to a minimum, and will save sweets for treats on the weekend, and not bring them into my home. I will continue to track on MFP, and I really need to up my activity again. I haven't run or done kettle bells in weeks, although I have been walking and riding my recumbent bike. At first I blamed my inactivity on being sick. Then on Saturday I fell on the ice while walking the dogs, and hurt my neck. Now I have no excuse, and March, when I need to start training for my 1/2 in June, is not that far off.
Last night I put on a pair of jeans, and loved what I saw. I looked curvy, and I liked it! My goal is not to be skinny. It's to be in control, to feel healthy and happy, and to not have to buy new clothes. Right now, most of those boxes are checked off, and once I start running again, I'd say I'll be at 100%.
The Virgin Diet did exactly what I'd hoped it would. It got me back up and running (well, walking!) It snapped me out of my Christmas sugar binge and gave me structure, control, and discipline. It removed a bunch of water weight, and allowed me to wear something other than leggings and yoga pants. I knew that my body would rebound once I started eating more normally again, but that's ok. I am no longer a slave to the scale.
Life is good right now, and I'm feeling very comfortable in my skin. I'm excited about my interview for the HSM show (I'll be interviewed on 2/9, will let you know when my episode airs.) I'm excited about my race in June (although not about the training!) I'm excited about my 20th reunion. I'm excited about the fact that I've worked really hard on myself over the past year, and have started to have opportunities to put into action some of the changes I wanted to make. As I said, life is good.
My plan is to continue with a shake for breakfast, and probably for lunch, during the week, and a shake for breakfast on the weekends. During the week I will have a "sensible" dinner, and will limit white flour and sugar. I will keep peanuts, corn and soy to a minimum, and will save sweets for treats on the weekend, and not bring them into my home. I will continue to track on MFP, and I really need to up my activity again. I haven't run or done kettle bells in weeks, although I have been walking and riding my recumbent bike. At first I blamed my inactivity on being sick. Then on Saturday I fell on the ice while walking the dogs, and hurt my neck. Now I have no excuse, and March, when I need to start training for my 1/2 in June, is not that far off.
Last night I put on a pair of jeans, and loved what I saw. I looked curvy, and I liked it! My goal is not to be skinny. It's to be in control, to feel healthy and happy, and to not have to buy new clothes. Right now, most of those boxes are checked off, and once I start running again, I'd say I'll be at 100%.
The Virgin Diet did exactly what I'd hoped it would. It got me back up and running (well, walking!) It snapped me out of my Christmas sugar binge and gave me structure, control, and discipline. It removed a bunch of water weight, and allowed me to wear something other than leggings and yoga pants. I knew that my body would rebound once I started eating more normally again, but that's ok. I am no longer a slave to the scale.
Life is good right now, and I'm feeling very comfortable in my skin. I'm excited about my interview for the HSM show (I'll be interviewed on 2/9, will let you know when my episode airs.) I'm excited about my race in June (although not about the training!) I'm excited about my 20th reunion. I'm excited about the fact that I've worked really hard on myself over the past year, and have started to have opportunities to put into action some of the changes I wanted to make. As I said, life is good.
Monday, January 12, 2015
Virgin Diet: Week 1 Recap
I started the 3 week Virgin Diet on Monday, January 5th. That day I weighed 159.3. Today, 1 week later, I weigh 149.1. I have lost 10.1 lbs in 7 days! The book says "Lose up to 7 lbs in 7 days", so I'm ahead of the game. I've been tracking on MFP and, based on my calorie deficit, I should've lost about 1-2 lbs this week. I followed the diet pretty much to a T...a protein shake for breakfast and lunch, and a dinner of protein, vegetables, healthy fats, and usually a sweet potato. I also have an orange for a snack (a snack is optional). I know that a large portion of the weight is water, but my feeling is that that is water weight/bloat that I put on over the holidays. It's part of the reason that none of my pants fit, and I felt sluggish and horrible. That weight came on, and needed to come off! I wore regular jeans (not stretchy) yesterday, for the first time in I can't remember how long. It felt great!
I don't think I would recommend this diet to someone just starting on their weight-loss journey, as it's very drastic. But for someone on maintenance who has gained a bit, or who's in the middle of their journey and needs to break a plateau, I think it's worth trying. Also, if you feel that you may have negative reactions to certain food groups, I think an elimination diet, with the reintroductions after, is a great way to learn about what your body can and can't tolerate. I have found this much easier than the Whole30, and I'm less neurotic. Last night I had brown rice sushi, and one of the rolls had something crunchy in it...maybe something fried...oh well. On Friday night I took Mady to Applebee's and had steak, veggies and sweet potato fries. Did I ask if they used corn oil to fry? Nope, didn't want to know! I'm doing the best I can, and it's more than good enough!
Week 2, which starts today, I can either continue with 2 shakes and a meal or cut back to just a shake for breakfast. That is the plan, although, as usual, I have to go grocery shopping, and was running late for work, so I just made 2 shakes to bring with me. Honestly, when I'm working, shakes work well for me. I don't get a lunch break, so I eat in between patients. If I microwave something, by the time I eat it, it's usually cold, and I'm shoveling it in. Sipping on a shake while I write up charts works really well for my lifestyle. I plan to continue with shakes for breakfast for the most part. I'm not much of a breakfast person, and these shakes get me a lot of nutrients, are easy to drink in the car on my way to work (I tend to eat breakfast very late), and keep me full for a few hours...unlike a bagel.
I've let my exercise slack a bit over the past week...I was sick, and felt like I needed to get well, and sleep as much as I could. I went back to yoga yesterday morning for the first time in a few weeks. It was hard, but felt great! The weather today is horrible, so I used my recumbent bike, and tomorrow I plan on running at the gym...first run since my 5k on New Year's Day 😳
Overall, I feel good, lighter, and in control. We'll see what the next 2 weeks bring, but for me, feeling like I'm in control of my eating is almost more important than what the scale says. As an aside, I'm listening to the audiobook "The Orphan Train", and LOVE it...highly recommend!
I don't think I would recommend this diet to someone just starting on their weight-loss journey, as it's very drastic. But for someone on maintenance who has gained a bit, or who's in the middle of their journey and needs to break a plateau, I think it's worth trying. Also, if you feel that you may have negative reactions to certain food groups, I think an elimination diet, with the reintroductions after, is a great way to learn about what your body can and can't tolerate. I have found this much easier than the Whole30, and I'm less neurotic. Last night I had brown rice sushi, and one of the rolls had something crunchy in it...maybe something fried...oh well. On Friday night I took Mady to Applebee's and had steak, veggies and sweet potato fries. Did I ask if they used corn oil to fry? Nope, didn't want to know! I'm doing the best I can, and it's more than good enough!
Week 2, which starts today, I can either continue with 2 shakes and a meal or cut back to just a shake for breakfast. That is the plan, although, as usual, I have to go grocery shopping, and was running late for work, so I just made 2 shakes to bring with me. Honestly, when I'm working, shakes work well for me. I don't get a lunch break, so I eat in between patients. If I microwave something, by the time I eat it, it's usually cold, and I'm shoveling it in. Sipping on a shake while I write up charts works really well for my lifestyle. I plan to continue with shakes for breakfast for the most part. I'm not much of a breakfast person, and these shakes get me a lot of nutrients, are easy to drink in the car on my way to work (I tend to eat breakfast very late), and keep me full for a few hours...unlike a bagel.
I've let my exercise slack a bit over the past week...I was sick, and felt like I needed to get well, and sleep as much as I could. I went back to yoga yesterday morning for the first time in a few weeks. It was hard, but felt great! The weather today is horrible, so I used my recumbent bike, and tomorrow I plan on running at the gym...first run since my 5k on New Year's Day 😳
Overall, I feel good, lighter, and in control. We'll see what the next 2 weeks bring, but for me, feeling like I'm in control of my eating is almost more important than what the scale says. As an aside, I'm listening to the audiobook "The Orphan Train", and LOVE it...highly recommend!
Monday, January 5, 2015
Down for the Count!
I rang in the New Year with family, friends...and no voice. I did a Resolution Run 5k the morning of the 1st, and then went home and took a nap. When I woke up, I couldn't talk AT ALL! For just the 2nd time in 7 years, I called my office manager and told her that I wouldn't make it in to work the next day. She thought that the phone was breaking up...nope, it's me! I spent Friday, Saturday and Sunday doing very little, and on Sunday I finally went to the doctor...are you happy Mom??? ;) I'm on an antibiotic, oral prednisone, and cough medicine, and I'm still coughing my brains out! Thank God that today was a scheduled day off for me, and Tuesdays are my shortest work day.
Getting sick turned out to be a blessing in disguise. I am not a good rester, but I was forced to rest, because I HAD to rest. I NEEDED to rest. I was also forced to accept help, which is not easy for me to do. I had planned on going grocery shopping on Friday, which I HATE! I had no food in the house at all. Friday morning my friend Gail asked if I needed her to pick up anything for me. I said I wish, but my list was way too long. She told me it wasn't a problem, and to text it to her. She ended up meeting my sister-in-law Terri at Shop Rite, and they split my list. Over an hour later my fridge and pantry were stocked, and I was reminded of how loved, and blessed, I am! When Gail dropped off my groceries, she even took Marty the Beagle out for a walk to tire him out. Even the dogs seemed to understand that things were different. When I would lay down on the couch, rather than come up to me looking to be pet, or fed, or walked, they all curled up somewhere and slept. We had a nice few days of forced down time.
Last night I decided to do the Virgin Diet with my best friend Toni. She had done it over the summer, and had great success. I feel like I need a kick start, a detox, something to get rid of this excess bloat and water weight, and get me back on track. Since 12/22, I've gained 6.5 lbs. I didn't do that well while I was sick, and once I decided to do the Virgin Diet, I viewed last night as my Last Supper, and went to town! For 21 days I will eliminate eggs, peanuts, soy, corn, dairy, gluten and sugar/artificial sweeteners from my diet. It's sort of like the Whole30, but not as strict, and not as long. I'm not going to go into the specifics of what I'm eating, but if you are interested, you can go to www.thevirgindiet.com. One thing I do plan on doing correctly this time, which I didn't with the W30, is the food reintroductions. I have a close family member with celiac disease. I have been tested, and don't have it, but I'm curious to see if I'm gluten sensitive. The same relative is lactose intolerant, and I suspect that I may be as well. My main reason for doing the diet, other than to do it with Toni so that we can support each other, is to kick the sugar cravings. I kept saying that I wanted to "cut back" on processed foods and sugar, but that wasn't happening. If I'm going to have a goal, it needs to be clear cut. Of course being sick throws a wrench in things. I'm sure the cough medicine I need to take so that I have a chance at sleeping tonight has sugar in it. I've avoided cough drops today, but will need something at work tomorrow. I'll do the best I can. Even on the W30, medications, etc., took precedence over the "rules."
Another thing that I'm excited about is audiobooks! When I used to commute by subway back and forth from Queens to Manhattan, I'd read about a book a week. Since I moved to NJ, I hardly read at all. When I used to walk on the treadmill, or use the elliptical at the gym, I could read then. Now that I run, or walk outside, I can't. I realized that I love listening to podcasts, so why not try audiobooks? I can listen while I run, walk, drive, and at night I prefer it to watching TV, because I can close my eyes!
I"m excited for 2015...I think it's going to be a good year! I'm taking some steps to expand my world a little bit, and we'll see what happens. I have a lot of things I'm looking forward to, and that's always a good thing!
Getting sick turned out to be a blessing in disguise. I am not a good rester, but I was forced to rest, because I HAD to rest. I NEEDED to rest. I was also forced to accept help, which is not easy for me to do. I had planned on going grocery shopping on Friday, which I HATE! I had no food in the house at all. Friday morning my friend Gail asked if I needed her to pick up anything for me. I said I wish, but my list was way too long. She told me it wasn't a problem, and to text it to her. She ended up meeting my sister-in-law Terri at Shop Rite, and they split my list. Over an hour later my fridge and pantry were stocked, and I was reminded of how loved, and blessed, I am! When Gail dropped off my groceries, she even took Marty the Beagle out for a walk to tire him out. Even the dogs seemed to understand that things were different. When I would lay down on the couch, rather than come up to me looking to be pet, or fed, or walked, they all curled up somewhere and slept. We had a nice few days of forced down time.
Last night I decided to do the Virgin Diet with my best friend Toni. She had done it over the summer, and had great success. I feel like I need a kick start, a detox, something to get rid of this excess bloat and water weight, and get me back on track. Since 12/22, I've gained 6.5 lbs. I didn't do that well while I was sick, and once I decided to do the Virgin Diet, I viewed last night as my Last Supper, and went to town! For 21 days I will eliminate eggs, peanuts, soy, corn, dairy, gluten and sugar/artificial sweeteners from my diet. It's sort of like the Whole30, but not as strict, and not as long. I'm not going to go into the specifics of what I'm eating, but if you are interested, you can go to www.thevirgindiet.com. One thing I do plan on doing correctly this time, which I didn't with the W30, is the food reintroductions. I have a close family member with celiac disease. I have been tested, and don't have it, but I'm curious to see if I'm gluten sensitive. The same relative is lactose intolerant, and I suspect that I may be as well. My main reason for doing the diet, other than to do it with Toni so that we can support each other, is to kick the sugar cravings. I kept saying that I wanted to "cut back" on processed foods and sugar, but that wasn't happening. If I'm going to have a goal, it needs to be clear cut. Of course being sick throws a wrench in things. I'm sure the cough medicine I need to take so that I have a chance at sleeping tonight has sugar in it. I've avoided cough drops today, but will need something at work tomorrow. I'll do the best I can. Even on the W30, medications, etc., took precedence over the "rules."
Another thing that I'm excited about is audiobooks! When I used to commute by subway back and forth from Queens to Manhattan, I'd read about a book a week. Since I moved to NJ, I hardly read at all. When I used to walk on the treadmill, or use the elliptical at the gym, I could read then. Now that I run, or walk outside, I can't. I realized that I love listening to podcasts, so why not try audiobooks? I can listen while I run, walk, drive, and at night I prefer it to watching TV, because I can close my eyes!
I"m excited for 2015...I think it's going to be a good year! I'm taking some steps to expand my world a little bit, and we'll see what happens. I have a lot of things I'm looking forward to, and that's always a good thing!
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