Trying to Get Through One Day

I started back to work yesterday after 9 days off. It was an amazing vacation, and I need to do these at least once a year, if possible. I didn't go anywhere, although I did do a lot of fun things (NKOTB concert, Jack and Mady's graduation, Father's Day BBQ, Terhune Orchard with the kids.) I also got some things done, but mainly I relaxed...I slept...A LOT! I didn't realize how much I could sleep, but I guess I needed it! I also cleared out my DVR, which makes me happy :)

Eating-wise, the past 9 days were a DISASTER! I don't do well when I'm not on a schedule and to me, vacation means food...eating out, ice cream, etc. I look, feel and AM heavier. I feel uncomfortable in my skin, and it's a feeling I hate (and know all too well.) I thought I'd get back on track yesterday, and I was fine for the first 2/3 of the day, but then I got home from work, and that's always a hard time for me. I eat to unwind, and I ate to unwind.

I'm trying not to look ahead, trying not to try to lose everything I gained in 12 hours, trying not to think about the Whole30 I plan on starting on July 1st. I just want to get through today or, more accurately, I want to get through this evening. Then I'll wake up and try to get through tomorrow. That's where I am right now. I told a friend this morning that I was going to text her if I felt like I was going to overeat and she asked if I felt like I was going to. At 10am? No, I never feel like I'm going to overeat at 10am, but ask me again at 8pm. It's not that I'm PLANNING on doing it, it's just that I know myself, and I know where I am right now. I'm on a tightrope, and my balance is not good. I just need to keep my arms out to either side, put one foot in front of the other, and do my best not to fall off.

I read something on Facebook last night that has to be my mantra right now:

You try, You fail
You try, You fail
The Real FAILURE
Is When You
STOP TRYING!!

I may fail every single time, but I won't stop trying.