Whatever Opens Us

"Whatever opens us is never as important as what opens."

I had a few non-scale victories (NSV) this week. I'm trying to focus more on those than on the number on the scale. That being said, I was down 2.1 lbs this week. However, that was probably more due to the fact that I had eaten a ton the night before I weighed myself last week, than that I had a great week this week. I had some great days, and some terrible days, and a few in between. I consider last week a good week more because of the NSVs than because of that 2.1 lb "loss".

I got my Fitbit One last Thursday, and set it up right away. The next day I started tracking calories on My Fitness Pal rather than points on WW etools. My Fitbit and MFP sync with each other, and the Fitbit links via Bluetooth to my phone. I love not having to plug it in to my computer (which is so slow that I rarely use it.) To lose a pound a week, I'd need to have a calorie deficit of 3500 calories, or 500 per day. That rarely happens, but I aim for SOME type of deficit most days.

I had a strange NSV yesterday...I allowed myself to buy cans of Diet Coke to have in the house. A year or 2 ago, I gave it up for Lent, and then just decided to not buy it anymore. I would have it at restaurants or other people's houses, but drank seltzer at home. Sunday, I had lunch out and had a diet coke, and bought another bottle to bring home. That night I remembered that I had it when I was at the point in the night where I start looking for "something", and I was so excited! Yesterday morning I decided that, while I'm really trying to get my binge eating under control, there is no reason to deny myself something that I enjoy, which has zero calories! I hope to move more towards clean eating, and at some point Diet Coke may have to leave my life again. For now though, I have to prioritize, and if Diet Coke takes the edge off and prevents a binge or two, it's a compromise I'm happy to make!

I was off yesterday, and did a lot of prepping. Not only did I bake 3 batches of cookies to freeze for Christmas, but I made crockpot oatmeal and crockpot rice and beans for the week. They are both recipes I made about 2 weeks ago, but I don't mind eating the same things often during the week, as long as I don't have to cook! I'm also working on being more flexible with my workout schedule. I tend to feel guilty if I don't do what my schedule says, which is pretty dumb, since I wrote it! Saturday I was supposed to go to yoga, but went for a 3+ mile walk with Marty instead. Same for Sunday. Yesterday I was supposed to do 20 min on my bike, 20 min of kettle bells, and yoga. I did a 3+ mile walk with Marty and k bells. I'm definitely not slacking, just doing what I want to do, rather than what is written down on a piece of paper. I'm taking advantage of the mild December weather to get out and walk, and tiring out a rambunctious beagle in the process...win-win!!

The big thing I'm working on mentally is staying more even and centered, and not letting things get me too high or low. You can do all this work, and THINK you've made progress, but until you are faced with a situation, you're never really sure how your intentions will translate into reality. This morning I was tired, and I'm fighting a cold. I planned on making some gluten-free cookies for my Mom for Christmas, and was supposed to do a 3 mile run. I thought that maybe I'd stay home and do the bike instead, but I know how good I feel after I run, and had to get some things at the store anyway, so I went to the gym. Shortly after my run, annoyances crept into my day, and I was thankful that I was still on my adrenaline high. While I wasn't able to let things completely go, I allowed myself to feel upset, but continue on with my day as I had planned it. It's what I'd been hoping I'd be able to do if confronted with things that upset me, and I did. That's a huge step in the right direction!

Finally, I got such a nice compliment at work today. A mom brought her son in, and on the schedule it said that she was an internist, and initially only wanted to see one of the ophthalmologists. Then she called back and asked to see me. When I went in the room, she said that I had examined her receptionist's 2 daughters, and that the woman couldn't say enough good things about me. You have no idea how much that means! Usually all we hear about are the ones who are not happy, so to get compliments, especially from an MD, is such a great feeling!

Anyway, today is a good day. What I'm learning is that I cannot control every situation in my life, but I absolutely can control how I respond. That's a pretty powerful realization.